Rachel headed out to college this morning, her old car loaded to the gills, and lots of last minute emergencies.  The old green car pulled out with almost all her earthly goods packed into the trunk and the back seat.  Her Daddy and I stood in the driveway, waving until the last sight of her disappeared.

My heart is so heavy.  I don’t think we ever make up for the days when a child is gone, and these days were so short — and honestly, so compromised by all the people she wanted to see.  We had some good, good times, but —

I feel so gypped.  But then, I know I’m not the only one.

Why can’t I stop crying? 

Maybe I will give myself this one day for tears, and then put my hand to the things I need to do.  There is another bridal shower, garden things that need attention, a house to clean, food to make for numerous things.  There is more than enough to occupy my heart — even though right now it feels like there is NO ROOM for anything in this old heart.

“Hold me, Jesus,
I’m shaking like a leaf.
You have been my King of my Glory. 
Won’t you be my Prince of Peace?”
rich mullins


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7 responses to “

  1. Love the song you quoted by Rich Mullins. May God give you the strength you need to “get through” this time.

  2. I KNOW that gypped feeling all too well. One day we wish they could go two hours without us, and the next we wish they just needed us at all. Go ahead and give the day to tears. Tomorrow is a new day, and you will have the heart to go on. Love you, Mary Ann.

  3. My heart aches for you! I know exactly how you feel! I miss my girls who don’t live in town sooooo much. And one of them is in Colorado. I agree; tears now, and then get back into the swing of things tomorrow!

  4. Bless your heart – I, too, know what you mean by feeling gypped! Each time the kids come for a visit, there are so many others who long to spend time with them as well! And now I am waiting for that other shoe to fall as at the end of this month I will be going home leaving all but one of my kids and grands to go back home.  I know by then you will be writing comforting words to me! I pray you will be comforted tonight.

  5. I also pray you will feel peace and and comfort.

  6. Hugs Mary Ann……..change.  expectations.  unmet expectations.  realizations.  just hard.  gotalove God’s Grace!!!

  7. It is a difficult time, but God is blessing you!

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