Monthly Archives: December 2010

Some of you have gotten this, some did not.
(We have begun paring down our list — with more to be taken off next year.)
This is this years edition for those who are interested.

Dear Family and Friends,                                                                                                                         Christmas, 2010

It is a gray day in Delaware.  The sky is hanging close to the tops of the tree farm outside the family room window and
it looks like it could start to dump buckets of snow any minute.  The nation has been wrapped in a cold snap that is vicious, and
my fire feels wonderful this morning as I sit here with a blanket and a cup of coffee.  I am determined that I will get this letter
written TODAY.  Time is running out (again!).  I believe that in the 24 previous letters, there has been one time that it was
ready to go the week after Thanksgiving.  The rest of the time, I race the calendar and sometimes even the clock to get it
out before Christmas.

It has been five years since Daddy died.  I mark this year with a sense of feeling that loss more acutely than ever, and
also with the knowledge that The One who lovingly carried our Daddy home that December night, has also shepherded us as a
family with far more grace than we could have imagined.  Mama continues to be an incredible blessing to us as a family, and a
vital part of our everyday lives.  She has had a more challenging year, health wise, and we know that she is more fragile than
ever, but we treasure these days with Mama, so glad that God spared her life and gave us more time with her.  She marked
a five year anniversary of being cancer free this year, and for that we give grateful praise.  She still lives alone in her “cottage”
beside the Country Rest Home, and although the hours get long, she has an almost daily stream of visitors through her doors.
What a lady!

Daniel, the guy who works hard to keep things running in a number of different places (home, church, work, etc.) has
had a year that has been probably one of the most difficult of his life.  Last year around this time, his father and step-mother
were in a nursing home, and the family had just separated out the belongings of the house and finalized the sale of their side
of a duplex.  It was an emotionally and physically draining time for him and his sisters as they attempted to salvage the good
memories from their family home and lay to rest what could not be changed.  Daniel fielded phone calls, paper work,
arrangements with medical, legal, insurance and social personnel until he was sure that his head would never be the same again.
There were numerous trips to Ohio and decisions to make.  In October, Ralph’s condition deteriorated to the point where the
doctor recommended that the family consider Hospice Care, and under the capable and watchful eye of Odyssey Hospice, Ralph
Yutzy made his final journey on November 11^th, finally free of that body that had become so undependable and worn out, free
of the sorrows and sadness of this old world.  And even though there were things that could and maybe should have been
different in the relationships that Ralph had with his family, the one thing that I have never doubted was what he believed about
the Way Home to Heaven.   He believed that Jesus was the only way to the Father.  He’s Home Free.  His wife, Sue, is still residing
in the nursing home in Ohio.  She struggles with dementia, but is uncomplaining and generally healthy, happy and content.

One of the brightest spots of this year has been the privilege of being Grandparents.  Daniel and I are enjoying this
aspect of aging far more than is probably proper.  We still have only one grandchild, Charis, daughter of Christina and Jesse,
but she lights up our lives in so many ways.  She is beginning to talk, has been walking everywhere since before she turned
one in April, and is unabashed in her love for us, her “Pea-bah and Mam-mee.”   Christina and Jesse have been so unselfish
with this wee one, and she meanders through our lives, “helping” with anything that we might have going.  She reminds me
so much of her mommy at this age, especially when it comes to water.  I put a big plastic apron over her dress and push a
chair up to the sink and she will splash merrily about, whether it is apples or lima beans or dishes or just the diversion of
pouring water from one container to another.  Sometimes I shut my eyes and remember another brown-eyed girlie and wonder
where the years have gone.  Christina enjoys being a wife and mother, and she is actively involved in the lives of her family and
friends.  Jesse still works for Burris Logistics, and I am always amazed at his prowess and responsibility when it comes to
managing the fundamental computer business involved with this large operation.  He is an involved daddy and a good husband,
and also serves as the “church coordinator” at our church.  We are so thankful for the home he provides for “his girls”.

Deborah (with her wandering feet) has traveled to four foreign countries since our last Christmas letter.  In January, she
was in Chad, Africa, with Wycliffe Bible Translators on a children’s teaching mission.  In June, she traveled with Rachel to
Guatemala, by way of El Salvador, to see our beloved Lupe and her family.  In September, she went with her Auntie, Lena Yutzy,
to Ireland for a self planned, self paced, self navigated tour.  And in November, she went with a Medical Mission team to Peru.
She continues to work part time at the hospital in the ICU, and was recently hired by a local Hospice organization for part time
home hospice care.  She is still in orientation for that position, but has always been unusually gifted when it comes to dealing
with patients who are facing end of life issues.  Her daddy and I sense that she has a calling for this particular line of work and
support her.  She loves to travel, loves adventure, and is a blessing to have still living at home.  She was a Godsend over the
time of my two knee replacements, and she is a willing helper to me when the need arises.  She sometimes still talks of going
back to school for her Bachelor’s degree, but feels adequately trained for what she wants to do now, and so has put that on the
back burner for the time being.

Raphael and Regina have had an eventful year.  Last winter, they began to seriously seek housing and employment in
Holmes County, Ohio, Regina’s home area.  Daniel and I joined them in praying that God would make things plain as to what they
should do, and this Mama tried hard to be neutral in how she prayed for all of that to pan out.  Raph was working in construction
here, but was open to ANYTHING that would make a living for them.  Through a series of unexpected and specific answers to
prayer, Gina was offered her old job, Raph was offered some temporary work, and they found reasonable housing.  It seemed
like Ohio was really where God was calling them, and on Thursday morning, May 13^th, we said those hard, hard “good-byes” and
Raph and Gina pulled out of our driveway on their way to their new home in Millersburg.  I thought my heart was going to break,
I hated it so much.  It was another time when I needed to remember that just because I hated something, it didn’t mean that it
wasn’t God’s will.  And the months since then, though this young couple has weathered some really tough times, have proven
that God is continuing to lead them in exciting ways, that there is a hope and a future for them.  Gina’s job at a local stone
company as a secretary-receptionist has been steady, and she also does online work for a formal wear company based here in
Delaware.  She is industrious and resourceful in so many ways.  Raph has been employed at a number of different construction
type jobs since moving to Ohio, but several months ago found employment at Troyer’s Furniture in Sugar Creek, and is enjoying
this job very much.  He has always loved sales, probably because it is so “people oriented” and is doing well.  We are looking
forward to having them home a few days over Christmas.

Lemuel and Jessica are living in Philadelphia.  Lem graduated from Bryn Mawr in May with his Masters in Social Services.
He has invested so much into this degree, and we couldn’t be happier for him.  He has had steady work since graduation, and is
currently in a position with a community drug and alcohol center as an intake specialist.  He dreams of the day when he can have
his own private counseling practice, and looks for opportunities to further the realities of that.  Jessica works for the Department
of Veterans Affairs as a Veterans Service Representative, and has enjoyed a great deal of favor in the eyes of her supervisors.
She is also taking classes at Eastern University in Philadelphia for her Masters degree in Organizational Leadership (though she
actually pretty much has the organizational end of that down pat just with her natural abilities).  They live an awesomely busy
life between full time jobs and Jessica’s classes and being vitally involved with their church in various capacities.  They, too, have
weathered some storms this year on a number of fronts, and we’ve prayerfully watched the boat that carries these two on the
sea of Life.  Their love has never wavered as they’ve battened down the hatches, and worked hard.  It is gratifying to see them
stronger and more committed and growing in grace.

And then there is Rachel.  Ah, Rachel!  She finished the year at Rosedale Bible Institute believing that God was calling her
into a year of service with Rosedale Mennonite Mission on a REACH team.  She had some very specific ideas about how God
was going to perform that plan — where she was going to go, how long she was going to stay and how her particular team
would be made up.  It isn’t easy to see the dreams of our children come tumbling down, but having walked with Our Father
these many years, I’ve lived long enough to know that He often isn’t inclined to be bossed by mere mortals.  Rachel was
accepted into REACH.  BUT.  She didn’t go where she wanted to go. (She wanted to go to Africa.  She’s in Thailand.)  She
didn’t get the length of time she had wanted. (She wanted a six month term.  Her term is considered nine months.) Her team
is all girls.  (She desperately wanted a mixed gender team.  “Death by Estrogen!” was a familiar wail in the early days of
reconciling herself to this calling.)  It is a little early for us to say how things are going in Thailand.  She has only been there
since December 2^nd.  But God has been doing a work in Rachel’s heart in the last year and especially through the three months
of Discipleship Training that causes me to stand in awe.  Our girlie isn’t perfect, and God will continue to work on her, but she
has faced some of her gremlins and some of her baggage, and we are humbled and thankful and excited.  She and her
“teamies” are presently involved in language school, but will be teaching English in a Buddhist temple, helping with orphans,
street children and women, as well as relating to University students.  She has internet access and we have been able to
“Skype” with her — with most satisfactory results.  Nothing changes the fact, though, that she is half a world away, and
that feels really, really far away for this Momma and Daddy.  If her plans carry, she will be home in August for maybe a
week before she is scheduled to start her sophomore year of college at Cedarville University in Ohio.  It honestly feels like
our years of having our “Littlest Chicken” at home are pretty much over.  It makes it hurt somewhere in the middle of my
stomach.

Our family is still providing care for disabled adults.  Cecilia has been with us for almost eleven years.  Though
blind and non-verbal, she has a place in our family circle that has blessed us often over the years.  She has a leather
La-Z-boy© recliner that is her spot in the little alcove off the kitchen, and she spends many hours there, listening to
National Public Radio or music CD’s and listening to the sounds of living that go on in this old farm house.  Nettie
been with us over four years now.  She attends First State Senior Center for three days a week, and then volunteers
at a gift shop on the grounds of Stockley Center on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  She has been pretty stable this year
as her meds have regulated some of the more troublesome challenges, and she is always eager to help wherever she
can.  In fact, Nettie put every single return address label on these Christmas cards.  She also does the shredding
around here, cleans her bedroom and bathroom, takes the trash to the road on Tuesdays, and feeds and waters the
wild birds that come to the feeders around the grounds at Shady Acres.  Nettie is often self-deprecatory, but she has
no idea of how she lifts my spirits and lightens the load around here.  Somewhere along the years, she has become my
friend, and it is a blessing of inestimable worth.  Her mother is also still living, and Nettie enjoys being able to spend an occasional weekend with her sister and going to visit her Mom.

It is hard to believe that I have two new knees.  It’s been just a little over a year since my left knee was replaced
and nine months since the second one, and I am thankful to be on this side of the surgery.  I can honestly say that
there isn’t a single day that goes by that I am not grateful for this gift.  I can go up and down steps, I can garden, I can
shop, I can dance on my kitchen floor while holding my grandbaby, I can work.  I told my good surgeon that, even though these knees won’t do for me what they did when I was a teenager, they still do everything that a 57 year old lady needs
them to do, and that is just perfect for me. The year has been interesting on almost every count.  There have been
indescribable joys, extreme disappointment, incredible blessing, and acute sorrow.  In the last five months, we’ve said
“good-bye” not only to Daniel’s father, but also to three of my daddy’s siblings — Aunt Naomi, Uncle Amos, and Uncle
David.  It is sobering to realize that of the eight “Yoder Boys” there are only three left: Uncle Daniel, Uncle Paul and Uncle Jesse, and only one sister, Aunt Mimi.  I find my heart often quiet before the losses– not sure how to find my way in this
world where it feels like some of the supports I’ve always relied on are slowly but surely slipping away.  Though I love this
season with its message of “Peace on earth, goodwill towards men,“ it is the story of Easter that gives me hope and
courage in these uncertain times.  The knowledge that those who have gone on before us are waiting for us finds its
authenticity in the resurrection of the one who came as a baby to earth that long night.  We should be people of joy.
The LORD has come!  And He promised to come again.  What a day that will be!

The snow began to fall outside my window shortly before noon today.  The wreaths and red bows around the
deck are beautifully dusted, and the birds are busy at the feeders.  My cup of coffee gave way to a cup of peppermint
tea, and now the darkness has fallen over Shady Acres.  The snow fell fast onto frozen ground, and the roads got ugly
and slippery.  People came home from work and center early — all except Daniel, who is still not home, but probably on his way.  Deborah came in first, looking for a blanket and a warm spot to rest.  Then Nettie and Cecilia put in their
appearances, and already there is a two hour delay for the senior center tomorrow.  C’mon now!  We had
almost two inches.  People can’t be expected to drive in deep snow like that!  (The problem is that almost no one
who grew up in Delaware knows how to drive on this white stuff!)

Silent night, Holy Night.  All is calm, all is bright.

(Except I think my fire just went out, and it is getting chilly in my corner.)

May this season be one of peace and joy for you and the people you love.  Merry Christmas!

*Mary Ann for the Crew at Shady Acres.

It’s hard to believe this is the day after Christmas in Delaware!  It has been snowing most of the day and “they”
are predicting that it will continue through the night.  I am grateful that my husband is here and is content to be here.
  I’m glad my nurse daughter worked last night and got safely home this morning.  I am thankful that my Eldest Daughter,
Beloved Son in Law and their Love Bug are together at their house up the road.  I’m thankful that Youngest Son and Girl
With a Beautiful Heart are in Philadelphia, probably snowed in, but at least safe in their little tucked away apartment,
and that Oldest Son with His Ohio Heart Throb are home in their snug apartment, without any of the complications of
weather that we are experiencing.  I’m grateful for a chance to chat with Youngest Daughter on Facebook and to “hear”
optimism in that exchange.

My heart is heavy, though, when I remember that Milford, DE, has a proportionately large homeless population.  I pray
that there could be shelter given tonight for anyone who may be out in this storm.  And once again, I give grateful praise
for God’s blessing to us, and for the way Certain Man has provided for me and our family.  I’m thankful for warmth and
protection from the weather.  I’m thankful for family and good memories and for this season when we remember
The Best Gift of All!

I received some thoughtful and wonderful gifts over this season.  My family and husband put thought and time and money into their choices.  Middle Daughter gave me this figurine — and though I know that things like this can be “just one more thing to sit on the shelf and get dusty,” this is one feels different somehow! 
Thanks, Beeba!

We are looking for some serious snow here today.  Certain Man is in his chair, still working on the sermon for this morning that may or may not be needed — many churches have already canceled, and our little church, on a back country road with no wind breaks is still deciding.  I am not eager to take my ladies out in it.  Beeba worked last night, and she is home, but reports treacherous black ice under the snow on untreated roads.  All the out of state offspringin’s are gone — Lem and Jess left last night, ahead of the storm and were safely home to their apartment in Philadelphia around midnight.  Raph and Gina decided last night that they would sleep and then try to head out this morning ahead of the worst of the storm, so they left around 6:30.  The house is strangely quiet and empty.  We had a great weekend together, just too short, and we missed our Thailand girlie incredibly much.

In just about a half an hour, it will be five years since my daddy went to Heaven.

I remember so many things about that night.

I remember that the joy was incredible.  He was safely HOME, and he went so peacefully, so quietly, without fanfare or struggle.

I had no idea how much I would miss him.

They always say things like “We’d never wish him back . . . “

Tonight, not that it will change a single thing, I selfishly wish him back.

I wish he hadn’t had to go.

I wish he would be here to comfort and hold my Mama.

I wish he were here to advise his children and grandchildren.

I wish our church family could feel that gentle love that helped to hold us steady.

It doesn’t matter to him, and he wouldn’t want to come back —

But I didn’t know how much I would miss him.

I wish so much that I could talk to him tonight.

Silent Night, Holy Night . . .

All is Calm . . .

All is Bright . . .

. . . Well maybe not quite . . .

We had a jolly good time at the party.  For those who are wondering about the soups, for this occasion, we had Shrimp chowder and Cheddar Cheese Chowder.  The other soups that I made this week were Beef and Barley and Chicken Corn Noodle Soup.  I think that all together, I made over a dozen gallons of soup last week.  And there isn’t much left!  It was a cold and windy week, with lots of sickness and the two funerals.  Soup is good for times like this.

We had a great time at the party, but an even better time together at my Uncle’s funeral.  I thought again yesterday about how often we say things like “It’s so sad that the only times we get together are at funerals” or “It’s good to see you, just not under these circumstances.”  When my father in law died a month ago, one of the things that I thought about so often was, “This isn’t such a terrible ‘circumstance’ when you really think about it.  We get to see all these people we love and so seldom get to see, and Grandpa gets to go HOME!  That sounds like a ‘win/win’ situation to me!” 

And that was truly the atmosphere yesterday as we remembered a man who was colorful, but often gray; witty, but often reserved; loving but sometimes prickly, but never, never indifferent about anything.  There were eight Yoder Boys, but this was the uncle that when I looked at him, I saw my daddy’s face.  I will miss knowing that somewhere my daddy’s oldest brother is still living. 

Most of what I miss, though, is the passing of this generation that is just ahead of my own. 

How did I get to be here? 

Since when are we the “older generation?” 

I don’t think we have what it takes to fill their shoes.

God help us!

Things are looking up at Shady Acres.  I have made enough soup this week to run my own soup kitchen, and there is more to go.  Certain Man and I decided to go ahead with the annual open house for his office that had been scheduled for tomorrow evening.  I looked at this week and thought about the things going on and decided that I really did need to think about something HAPPY for a change, and so we’ve had a grand time planning and looking forward to the evening.

I know that there aren’t many people who plan these sorts of things, and we got our invitations out a whole lot later than we wanted to (we had good reasons for that, but they still were later than usual) but we’ve not had a whole lot of people letting us know one way or another if they are coming or not.  I am just as happy if the ones who come are the ones who really want to and maybe people just don’t like to say they aren’t coming — but it sure makes planning easier when I have some idea as to how many people I am planning for.

Back on April 17th of this year, I wrote about taking my first drive after my second knee replacement to go into the Hospice Center of Milford to tell my friend, Joan, one last good-bye.  You can read about that little trip here: 

http://www.xanga.com/private/yourhome.aspx?user=Buckeyegirlie&nextdate=4%2f17%2f2010+23%3a59%3a59.999

Monday morning, another neighbor called me and asked me if I had heard that Joan’s son was gravely ill.  I hadn’t.  And after talking with her for a little bit, I decided to call Joan’s mother, who lives behind Joan’s house in a modular house.  Mildred is a precious old lady and she has endured many a heartache.  Not the least of which was losing her beloved daughter last spring.

Mildred filled me in on all the details.  She said that Craig hadn’t been feeling good, and finally, the week of Thanksgiving, had gone to the doctor and was diagnosed almost immediately with pancreatic cancer.  The days since then have been filled with unfortunate setbacks and strange developments.  When I spoke to her Monday, she was guardedly hopeful, but also said that he was a “very sick boy.”

Late last evening, the neighbor that called me Monday, called to say that Craig had passed away.  My heart aches for this family.  Craig was married (rather briefly) and had son, Tyler.  Tyler is 14 now, and Craig has had custody of him for most of his life.  Tyler is a fine young man.  Mannerly, and will speak when spoken to.  He was exceptionally close to his Mom-Mom, and her passing was difficult for him.  I cannot even imagine what must be going through his head tonight. Craig was an only son, but his two sisters were always trying to look out for him.  I’m sure that they are devastated.  His dad is the strong silent kind of man, not very apt to say what is in his heart, but my heart aches for him as well.  And his elderly grandmother!  She has some serious health issues, and this can’t be a good thing for her to have to deal with right now.

. . . When I look at the problems and sorrows that other people have, my own look rather small and insignificant.  How very difficult this is to understand.  I pray that they would somehow find comfort in this sad, sad time.

It has been a day when it is hard to not cry.

1.  I guess I am not really over whatever is wrong with me.  I still feel thick and slow and stupid.

2.  My husband is sick.  He didn’t make it to church this morning.  I know how bad he feels (see #1)  and it makes me sad for him.

3.  My Sweet Mama is sick.  I talk to her on the phone and she sounds so bad.  I should go out there and take care of her.  But — (see #1 and #2)

4.  My Uncle David died this morning.  The seventh child of David and Savilla Yoder to die in less than five years.  The third one since July 29th of this year.  On the 18th, it will be five years since my daddy died.  He was the first.  There was an irreverent remark when Daddy died.  Something about it being the “beginning of ‘open season’ on the Yoder siblings.”   I didn’t particularly like it then.  I like it even less now.  Seven gone.  Grandma had her babies fast, but I know she never had seven in less than five years.

5.  I miss my faraway girlie.

6.  I miss my faraway girlie.

7.  I miss my faraway girlie.

8.  I miss my faraway girlie.

9.  I miss my faraway girlie.

If you are looking for some resolution to this, it isn’t coming.  Yet.

Certain Man and I went shopping together today.  I wasn’t feeling entirely well, and he was feeling like he was getting sick  — so we made quite a team.  It was rather quiet in the mini-van for the first part of the trip.  I hadn’t hurried enough this morning, and we didn’t get off as early as we had hoped.  There were ladies to get ready for Center, some bills to pay and I needed to clean out my purse . . . 

Yes, I NEEDED to. 

Several months ago, I had bought one of those big bags that are so popular now.  Youngest Daughter had sorta’ talked me into it, if I were to be entirely honest.  And I have been impressed and pleased with how I can get so much in there.  The only problem is, it is pretty much just one great big compartment, and of course, I had lost something important in there.  I couldn’t find it among the candy wrappers, crumbs, pens, receipts, calculator, chapstick, Weight Watcher literature, gum, cough drops, life savers, more pens, tablets, Things to Distract Love Bug, coupons, sale papers, and even the two zippered pouches that I put in there to help me “organize” things.  So I sat on my chair, and began to dig.  I found what I had lost, and threw everything away that didn’t belong in there, corralled some of the things into the zippered pouches, put the pens in their own outside pouch, put “edibles” into another compartment, and lined up the wallet, the check book and the calculator in the bottom of the big old purse, and marveled at how much lighter the thing felt.

Certain Man had been in the chicken house while I did all this stuff, and after I finished the purse,  I thought that I would quick pay a few bills that had come in.  Over the time of the funeral, there had been a few things that had gone unheeded, and I wanted to “quick take care of them.”  So I furiously scribbled away.  Certain Man came in, got his shower, got dressed and sat on his chair.  He didn’t look particularly healthy.  I worried.  He didn’t look particularly happy.  I worried even more, and tried to hurry even more.  The phone rang numerous times.  The several times that he fielded the calls, I heard some quiet mutterings about “getting later and later!”

Eventually, we got on our way, but as I said, it was rather quiet in the car.  I was genuinely sorry for making us late, sorry that he wasn’t feeling good, and really wasn’t feeling terrific myself, but then didn’t know if it was because I was just being growly, had a guilty conscience, or if I just hadn’t recovered enough to actually be out and about.

Then the first place we stopped was closed because of a death in the family, and so we aimed our trusty mini van on up to Dover and slowly made our way through various stops.  First to the post office to mail some invitations and to buy Christmas stamps for our Christmas cards.  While there, we also got information about sending a package to Thailand.  I think that first stop is what changed things for us.  We suddenly began looking outward together instead of looking inward and at the other’s imagined (or real) shortcomings.

The day just got better from there.  We did some browsing at “Forneys, Too” a delightful little gift shop where we didn’t buy a thing, then went on to the mall, did some looking at this and that, got lunch at our favorite fast food place, Chick-fil-A, visited Yankee Candle, made a small purchase at Boscov’s, another at Penney’s and then went on to Sam’s Club for some shopping there and then to a carpet store to look for carpet for the living room.  It was just so relaxing and fun!

But towards the end of the day, it became evident that Certain Man really must be catching what I had earlier this week.  His head was hurting, and he felt really, really tired.  So we came home and he slept awhile, went out and did his chores, and then our Grandbaby came by for a short visit.  Things are settling down for the night, and I knew he didn’t feel good at all when he wanted Beloved Son in Law and Eldest Daughter to lock up on their way out at 8:30.  He had my sympathies, and I wasn’t going to object.  So I think we are going to call it a day at Shady Acres.  Middle Daughter is working, Nettie has already taken herself to bed, and Cecilia will follow as soon as I get her ready.  This was the day for my cleaning gal to work her magic, and work it, she did!!!  I am thankful for a clean house, a sweet fire, and the memories I’ve been blessed to make today.

Sweet Dreams!

One year ago today, I woke up in Beebe Medical Center with a new left knee.  Today, I feel some ache in that knee with the weather and with an unusually busy past week.  I was supposed to have an appointment with the office that did the surgery this morning but decided to not go.  Somewhere I caught a cough/cold/nasty bug, and yesterday I pretty much sat on my chair all day.  I finally made an appointment with my family doctor for this afternoon.  Maybe I can get to feeling better.  I haven’t been feeling quite right for over three weeks, but I kept saying, “I have to get through this:  (Funeral, two trips to Ohio, Rachel’s week at home, Thanksgiving boxes, Thanksgiving, little Christmas, getting everything together so that my family could have as uneventful a weekend together as possible, etc.) and THEN I will think about whether I am really sick or not.”  I’ve been down this road a time or two before, and I wasn’t surprised when I started feeling really bad on Monday, worse yesterday, and now not much better.  I was glad when the doctor’s office had one appointment left today and said I should come in.  I need some other prescriptions as well.  I so hope that I can go to church tonight — We are doing invitations for our Christmas Carol Sing along, and I REALLY, REALLY want to be there! 

Yesterday morning, Youngest Daughter began her long trip to Thailand.  She left Columbus, Ohio, around 10:00 yesterday morning.  They had a brief stop in Chicago and then went on to Tokyo.  Beloved Son in Law is my helper in times of need, and set up my laptop so that I could follow the flight on line.  Last night, I traced the flight across the edge of Korea, and thought about my girlie, and wondered what she was thinking, what she was feeling.  They landed in Tokyo, had another fairly brief stay there, an then it was back to the Friendly Skies for the last leg of the trip.  Around 11:30, Beloved Son in Law got a text from the airline saying that the flight had landed, and was taxi-ing up to the terminal.  It was almost midnight in Bangkok, and I was surprised by the sudden lurch in my gut as I thought about my 20 year old girlie, about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime.  I keep thinking that in the bigger scheme of things, 8-9 months isn’t all that much.  And in light of all the other things she has done, it seems like “just one more thing!”  And to me, as her Momma, I keep reminding myself that the empty place at our table, in our home, in my heart carries NOTHING of the sorrow or long term implications that friends of ours are feeling right now as they face the uncertainties of Traumatic Brain Injury in their college age daughter.  There is just no comparison.  And so, when I am tempted to weep over this far away girlie of mine and for that gut wrenching “Missing Her!” feeling, I am trying to use that as a spring board for a reminder to pray for Kevin, Carla, Karissa, Eric and Kelly.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they would trade their kind of pain for this sort of pain in the blink of an eye.

. . . and I praise HIM in this storm.

edit:  Home from the doctor.  Temp of 100.  Sinus infection, but “you don’t have pneumonia — YET.”  So he prescribed an antibiotic, and Certain Man laid down the law concerning church tonight and Bible Study tomorrow morning.  And I don’t have the energy to argue. 

So there. 

He thinks he won. 

I think I did.