Each of the last few days have seemed to be a week in themselves, each one dawning with the uncertainty of what this day will hold.  

How do we plan?  How is Mom Yutzy doing today?  Should we plan the funeral that she has steadfastly refused to plan.  (Unless, of course, there is someone out there that knows something we don’t.  To Daniel, she has only said, “Whatever you decide, it will be alright.  Just whatever you decide.”)

At the advisement of the resident Hospice nurse, (our Deborah) the family decided against hospitalization, against I.V. hydration, asking instead for comfort measures, anything that would make things comfortable for the present situation, where death appeared to be imminent. Daniel’s sister, Rachel and her husband, Ivan, went to Ohio on Sunday.  I cannot begin to say how much that meant to us.  One of the things that made me “heavy hearted” was that it seemed like one of the family ought to be there. It was an incredible comfort to feel that Daniel could stay in Delaware, take his turn at preaching the Sunday sermon, attend to getting the chickens out on Monday, and plan a bit more rationally.  Just to have someone there!  It truly was a blessing.

Yesterday, Deborah drove a mini-van to Holmes County for Raph and Gina and their expanded family, and then went down to Cedarville, spent the night with Rachel and today, took her Hospice skills to the nursing home where Mom Yutzy makes her home.  She has conversed with social workers, nursing home personnel, nurses and the Hospice workers that have been assigned to Mom’s care.  She called with her observations and evaluations and I feel like I am less in limbo than I have been for almost a week.

Mom Yutzy is stable.  She has improved quite a bit since the urgent call telling us of her rapidly declining condition.  She is definitely deteriorating, and with the elderly, it is always an educated guess as to what is actually going on.  But Deborah said today that her vitals are stable, that she is actually “healthy” for the most part, and that since she has improved from the infection that hit her really hard, she is doing pretty well.  Deborah feels that, as is typical of patients with dementia, she could (probably WILL!) continue to decline slowly.  Very slowly.  But, as every single health care professional tells us, “No one really can predict.”

So Deborah has a ticket to fly home on Thursday, and Daniel and I are planning to hold off going for right now.  We were there a little over a month ago, and it will be okay for us to “wait and see” for now.  I feel a great sense of relief in one sense.  The only thing that troubles me is that going to see Mom Yutzy was my ticket to see my newest Grandbabies.  I can barely wait to squeeze them, and see this young couple be Daddy and Mommy to their ready-made family.  It has been so exciting to see how God equips and gives grace and turns everyday living into Glory.

And that is one story that continues to be written in all our lives. 



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4 responses to “

  1. How wonderful that Deborah could go and make a personal assessment. Does Daniel’s stepmother have no children of her own? Sometimes the thought of being old and ill and possibly alone gives me a lot of fear. I especially think of my single sister who has no children. And so many of us have children all over the place. I hate the thought that my impending death might someday cause my kids a lot of inconvenience. It’s one of those things I need to purposely turn over to my heavenly Father and claim the peace of God to cover me.

  2. I would like to have a nice, comforting, creative answer – but, praying for you is what I will do – because God is “enough.”

  3. The wondering, waiting, not knowing how to plan, and dreading is so hard.    I wish I were closer to give you a physical hand, but since I’m not, please know my prayers are with you.

  4. I was a family caregiver for a lot of years and a lot of family members. This is the hard part–not knowing what to do. I think what you did for them and how you treated them,,the smiles you had with them are the important part.   My thoughts are–at the funeral your loved one isnt there–shes already in heaven in the arms of God–funerals are to comfort the ones left behind. God bless you and I pray that your loved one goes in peace –thats the best thing you can hope for

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