It is no secret that Certain Man and his wife are rather out of date and out of what is cool when it comes to cell phones. For pity sakes, it seems like only yesterday that there were no cell phones. When Certain Man got what they called a “bag phone” back in the late eighties, we thought we were really coming up in this world.
Now for years, we’ve resisted having any kind of internet on our phones or providing it for the motley crew that is on our family plan. One by one, The Offspringin’s have gone to their own lines or conspired with each other to have share the costs so that they could indulge their smart phone
addictions — I mean, affinities — to their hearts’ content. But then, it seemed that college kid, Rachel, needed cell phone access to the internet that was advantageous for grad school and a bit “job related,” (really, Rach???!!!) and beings she is a poor college kid, we decided that we would make an exception. This once.
But for Certain Man and myself, we have the same old identical flip phones that we have had for a very long time. We have the same numbers that we got over a dozen years ago. Our phones make and receive calls. They can send and receive texts. We can even take pictures with them and I can send them to the offspringin’s whether they want them or not and I can get their pictures, too — which is wonderful! (probably 95% of the time, anyhow. We will not discuss the other percent.) The offspringin’s have protested loudly and often saying “You guys need to update your phones!” Beloved Son in Law even pointed out that “there is not an accumulating financial advantage in waiting four years after you are eligible for an update. They are still going to give you the same kind of deal.” (I think I knew that.) My rebuttals have been at least as loud and often.
Something happened yesterday that almost made me cave.
Monday morning. Laundry morning, and all was well. Certain Man was home, and I was trying to work around a very constricted muscle in my right shoulder/neck/upper back. I had a most muddled morning. Both of my ladies’ buses came early on this morning when I had it in slow gear. I was padding around in my housecoat, just trying to make sure I wasn’t missing something important when someone called on the house phone. I was trying to make the best use of my time, so I went into the laundry room to change the washer. It was time for my “blue load,” so in impulse, I stripped off my blue housecoat that had even blue-er icing it from this past weekend, and threw it into the washer along with the rest of the clothing and put in the detergent and started it up.
I continued talking on the phone until suddenly I was aware that there were great “clunking” noises coming from my usually sensible front loading washing washing machine. Oh! No! Where’s my phone? I stopped the machine, waited anxiously for it to unlock, then dug through the wet clothes. I pulled out my dripping housecoat and searched the pockets. Nothing. I frantically started moving things aside in there, and found my phone, minus the battery. A few more sopping wet things got pushed aside and there was the battery. I flew to the kitchen and dried everything carefully. I got down the rice and found a suitably sized container that I could put everything in and quickly covered the phone and the battery. And sighed.
I put the wet clothes back into the washing machine and restarted the cycle. I found Certain Man and we discussed the fact that maybe this was the time to do some updating. We decided that we would trek to Dover, come eventide, and search out the possibilities and if we could make some sort of acceptable agreement, maybe we would upgrade to a better phone. He went back to fixing fence and I went back to laundry.
But then, after four hours, it was time for me to visit the chiropractor for this aching neck. I didn’t want to leave the house without a phone because our ears are always tuned to South Carolina and the saga there, but I didn’t think it would help to take Certain Man’s phone, as any call that would come in would be to mine. And so I dithered about for a bit while I weighed my options.
“Maybe I should just get that phone out of the rice and see if it works . . . but they say to leave it at least twenty four hours . . . if I fire it up now, I might ruin it for good . . . however, if we are going to go get new phones tonight, it won’t matter if this does get ruined . . . on the other hand, I would rather keep this phone than have to get a new one, so I should just leave it in the rice for at least 24 hours . . .but I don’t want to be without a phone right now for any length of time since I might miss Clinton’s phone call . . . maybe I should see about connecting a spare phone . . . I don’t really have time . . .”
I finally decided to power it up and see what happened. I almost held my breath, but the screen lit up, and as the activation noises began. It went right into the usual mode and I looked triumphantly at Certain Man. He returned my look with a very dubious one of his own. “You’d better call someone,” he said. “You won’t know for sure until a call actually goes through.” I dialed his number and we were both delighted to have the call go through and to realize that the little phone was working just fine. In fact, as the hours go by, it seems like it is even better than it was before!
We didn’t go to Dover. We didn’t upgrade. The offspringin’s are just going to have wait for a while. Not saying “no” forever, but just saying that this little phone is enough. Actually more than enough, and I am quite content.
My heart gives grateful praise.