I pulled up my instagram account a bit ago, wishing I had a picture to share, and my heart caught at the one that filled the screen as a prospective “next share.” It is a beatific photograph. A bearded man is holding a baby against his face, kissing her chubby cheek. She is beautiful, but looks exactly like she’s thinking what her Mama wrote when she sent the photograph. “Why does this man with the itchy beard insist on kissing me every day?”
I cannot show it.
The man is Eldest Son. The baby is Baby E, the little one that was placed in their home a little over three weeks ago. I devour this little face with my eyes everytime a picture is sent, and everytime I long to show off to the world this newest grandbaby of ours. I especially want to stamp her on my heart because, once again, we do not know how long she can stay.
But any time that a picture is shown on these places which we have come to use as the platform to show our precious little ones, this little one’s face must be turned away or blotted out or obscured somehow so that her identity cannot be discovered. I know all the reasons. I know all the precautions. I know all the rules. I know all the laws. And with my head, I say “yes” a thousand times to keeping our little one safe.
But my heart! Ah, my heart! It swells with wanting to share the miracle of a child, the wonder of a daddy’s love, her brothers’ pride, her Mama’s intuitive parenting and fierce, protective love, and that face- that sweet, round face with the pouty lips and pug nose! Is she a beautiful baby? I can’t tell. She’s wonderful. She’s precious. She’s sweet natured.
And YES!!! She’s beautiful. Of course she’s beautiful. She’s one of our family.
So. “Why does this man with the itchy beard insist on kissing me every day?”
For the same reason, Baby E, that he tells you every day that you are beautiful. For the same reason that he gets up with you when your mama is tired, and lovingly tends to your needs. For the same reason your Mama opened her hurting heart one more time and let you in, and doesn’t hold back from loving you, even though it’s sometimes like a knife in an old wound when she realizes how much she loves you and how much she stands to lose. For the same reason that three little boys rejoiced at your coming, love freely and with open hearts and hands, and in the carefree race of childhood, shove back the “what ifs.” For the same reason that your extended family watches eagerly for any pictures or stories that will help to make you more tangibly THERE in our heads as well as our hearts — All this because???
Because you are worthy of loving. Because you are here. Because you need a family, and frankly, we need you. Ah, Baby E! We will turn your face away for now, if needs be. We will hearken to the ones who write the rules. But we will not turn our hearts away from you, nor our faces from The One who is writing Your Story.
In His Time. By His Rules. He is writing your story. He sees your precious face. Today I choose to trust Him to know the best plot, the best beginning, middle and ending. He is a loving Heavenly Father. He will hold you close to His heart. He will do what is best.
And this Old Delaware Grammy’s heart will choose to offer a sacrifice of praise.