She Dances . . .

Elise Evelyn. Our Ellie-girl.

She is life and light and movement and spirit and song and fire. And she dances. There is no stopping the feet and the voice and the personality that has trusted and engaged and loved without reserve. She knows no strangers. She knows what she wants and when she wants it and how she wants it, but she has also learned that sometimes you just cannot have what you want and when and how.

Gift to our family. A Sacred Trust.

There have been hundreds of people who have said, “How lucky she is to have this family!”

NO!!!

Oh, Ellie-girl! We are the ones who have been so blessed. And there was no luck involved. You came to us, a six week old baby, and we wanted you to stay from the minute we laid eyes on you.”

It was a long journey, with many tears and uncertainties and times when it seemed that she was gone for good. There was a day in July when a state car took her away for her new life, and we wept and prayed and felt the grief that was worse than death. But in Washington, DC, a client cancelled and Uncle Lem locked the door of his office and got down on his knees and pled for mercy and intervention. People all over were praying, for something to happen.

And God chose to intervene and sent an angel in the form of an unknown man who warned the case worker. He showed up and followed her around while she surveyed the premises of the intended placement and when no one was listening, he hissed, “Don’t you leave that baby here!”

“What???”

“Don’t you leave that baby here!” He offered some brief words of explanation, and then was silent.

The caseworker called her supervisor and Elise came back home. The story wasn’t over, there were still hurdles to cross, and there were 5 times (all together) when an actual date was set for her to be moved to another placement, but each time, something (rather, Someone) intervened.

My Ohio daughter in law was given the family name when she joined our family, “Ohio Heart Throb.” Just for the record, she has a new name. “Warrior Mama.” She’s earned it fair and square and has the scars to prove it. She faced imperious case managers, biased directors and held her own with honest and objective directives when she had had enough of the dilly-dallying of bureaucracy and the indifference of a state system. I’m so proud of this woman. She has known relinquishment and broken dreams and grief. She has given up when she realized it was in the best interest of the child. And this time, she knew what was in the best interest of Elise and she fought for her future. And won!

On April 19, 2019, the baby known as “Sweet Baby E” became Elise Evelyn Yutzy.

Most of you who follow this blog know that our Ellie-girl is facing a huge challenge. This week she starts a “five day a week for six weeks” radiation therapy for a synovial sarcoma in her leg. The risks are great, but the risk of not treating is greater. But she still dances. She still bosses her brothers and plays with her dollies and watches her “shows” and does all the things that she wants to and can. She doesn’t begin to understand to import of what is happening. She doesn’t even know the catch in her family’s throat, the sadness in her daddy’s eyes, the unrelenting hurt in her Mama’s heart, or the fear that her brothers are grappling with. And it’s better that she doesn’t.

People have been so kind. From the beginning of this journey, people have given and shared and prayed and loved and given some more. Nothing is taken for granted. Raph and Regina find the generosity and outpouring of care and concern hard to believe. For them as well as for us, the love and the prayers have been the best gifts. I call it “wrapped in a bubble of Grace,” where a sense of God’s provision and presence gives me courage and strength. I’ve said it more than once because, though I cannot explain it except by God’s grace, “This is hard, and I am sad. But I am not afraid, and I am not frantic. I’ve walked with this Heavenly Father for over 60 years, and He has never failed me yet. He hasn’t done everything the way I wanted, or spared me from heartache and loss, but He has carried me when I couldn’t make it on my own. He promised not to leave me or forsake me, and I don’t believe that He will stand apart from my grief now any more than I would stand apart from the grief of one of my children. He is here and He is not silent. My heart gives grateful praise!”

There are a lot of expenses connected with Ellie’s cancer treatment, and Ellie’s Uncle Lem and Auntie Jessica have started a gofund.me account to help out. As the families of Raphael and Regina, we are helping, but there is always more that is needed. I’m attaching this link so that if you are so inclined, you can access it without too much trouble. Thank you for listening, for reading and for caring and praying. The prayers are still the best gift!

https://gofund.me/9357cacb

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