Certain Man’s Wife does a fire drill

Certain Man’s Wife has a home visit every month with her case manager from the State Department of Disabilities.  The assigned casemanager picks up spending records, medication reports, documentation of doctor visits, and social reports from each of the ladies in the home at Shady Acres.  Once every quarter, CMW needs to do a fire drill and document that for someone somewhere in the hierarchy of the state.  So often, CMW thinks that whoever is reading these things must find it the most boring thing in the world.  And it is great fun to write a report that has surprises or details in it that will cause someone to take a little notice.

Mandatory fire drills are things that make little sense to CMW.  Both of the ladies who reside with CM and CMW will never get themselves out in the event of a fire.  Someone will need to physically get Cecilia on her feet and guide her out.  Someone needs to explain to Nettie why she needs to get out — and supervision is very much needed.  This may explain why Certain Man’s house has six smoke detectors and they are careful to keep them in order.  The family at Shady Acres knows it will take time to get people out in the event of a fire.  However, the state still wants each foster care home to run a fire drill every three months, and to fill out their detailed form.

When CMW went to awaken Cecilia one this particular morning, she suddenly remembered that she hadn’t done a fire drill within the allotted time.  With everything that has been going on at Shady Acres, it was one of many things that went right over her head.  And this was the morning for the monthly visit from the case manager.  So in a sudden burst of inspiration, CMW decided that this would be a good morning to do a drill, and decided that maybe it would be good to have it start while both ladies were still in bed.  “After all,” reasoned CMW, “how often do we plan a convenient time for our house to catch on fire and we will need to evacuate?”

CMW hit the button on the smoke detector in their bedroom several times and neither lady budged an inch.  So she made note of the time on her wrist watch and went over and Nettie a nudge on her ample rear that was sticking up under the mound of covers.

“Nettie!  Hey Nettie!  Wake up!”

“Ummmpfff!”  She said in a complainy sort of way.

“Hey, Nettie, wake up!  We are having a fire drill.  You need to get up and get out to the garage!”

“Huh??? “  She said sleepily, “Wha’d’ya say???”

“I said,” Repeated CMW clearly, “We are having a fire drill.  You need to get up and get out to the garage.”

“Oh.  Um.  Okay.”  She grunted, and began to swing her legs over the side ponderously.

CMW went over to Cecilia’s bed.  Cecilia was awake.  “C’mon, Cecilia-girl.  We need to have this fire drill.  Come on, let’s go.”  Cecilia wasn’t impressed, but she got up out of bed and shuffled along with CMW  towards the door.  As CMW looked back over her shoulder, she saw that Nettie wasn’t really moving much.

“Nettie, come on.  We are pretending the fire is in the kitchen.  Come on.  You don’t have time to get dressed.  Just come!”  CMW guided Cecilia through the bathroom where she had to forcibly take her past the toilet where she usually sits down immediately after getting out of bed.

“Sorry, Cecilia-girl.  I’ll bring you back in just a little bit.”  Cecilia was not at all happy with this development.  She was in her jammies, barefoot and it was cold.  CMW thought about the cold cement at the bottom of the ramp and decided to have some mercy on her.  They moved through the laundry room, through the entry way and to the top of the ramp.  Right about now, Cecilia had just about had enough.  STAMP!!!  STAMP!!!  Went her stubborn little foot at the top of the ramp.  “Huff!!! Puff!!! Snort!!!”

CMW looked over her shoulder.  There was no sign of Nettie.

“Here, Cee-Cee,” she said, using a pet name, “You stand right here with your hand on the railing until I come back.”  She curled the fingers around the railing and made sure that Cecilia was safely holding on and then flew back to the bedroom to check on Nettie.

Nettie was busy making her bed.

“Nettie, Come!” she said more than a little forcefully.  “We are having a fire drill.  You need to get out.”

“Wha’?” asked Nettie in her usual slow way.  “Wha’d’ya sayin’?”

“I said,” said CMW with just a bit of exasperation, “that we are having a fire drill.  Your case manager comes this morning and I have to have a fire drill to report.  Come on.  You just need to go to the top of the ramp.”

Nettie looked down over her nightgown and back with distaste at CMW.  At this point, CMW got a firm grip on her hand and assisted her across the room and through the bathroom, through the utility room, through the entry way and to the landing at the top of the ramp.  It was more than a little crowded there with CMW, Cecilia and Nettie.  CMW looked at the motley crew, all three barefooted in the morning chill, she and Nettie were in their nighties and Cecilia was in her P.J.’s.  Cecilia was mad at the interruption in her morning routine, Nettie blinking owlishly and looking like she couldn’t believe the indignities heaped upon her, and CMW couldn’t help but cover a grin as she checked the time on her wrist watch.  She had managed a fire drill!!!  One minute and forty five seconds.  Not too bad.  Hopefully, whoever read it wouldn’t have to be bored at the details, and even though she felt sorry for her two ladies, sometimes their irritation at CMW is a cause for mirth.  CMW doesn’t blame them a bit for being provoked.  But when she accomplishes something that she really needs to do, and they are both looking so out of sorts – Well, to CMW’s biased eye, they are just plain cute.  And somehow, more normal in their aggravation than they are at almost any other time.

And that is the news from Shady Acres where the fire drill got reported, all the reports got filed, and CMW’s day was off to a grand start!

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Colossian 4 makes its inroads in my comfort

5 Be wise in the way you act with people who are not believers, making the most of every opportunity. 6 When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should.

Being kind has always been so important to me.  My Daddy often said, “It’s always right to be kind,” and he proved it over and over again by the way he lived and the way he dealt with people.

Yesterday morning in my quiet time, this verse popped out at me, impressing itself enough upon me that I stopped and wrote it off and stuck it up to my cupboard door.  My intentions were good.

We had our annual bonfire and hayride last night.  I have been looking forward to it for so long, and I really wanted everyone to have a great time.  But a family showed up an hour and fifteen minutes early with an extra four kids in tow in addition to their own four and you know what?  I kinda blew my good intentions.

It could be said that the children broke every trike on the place except one.  It could be said that the mother had been asked to not bring extra children, but had said that if she did, she would watch them  — and didn’t.  It could be said that they went through the line first, took an inordinate amount of food as well as a lions share of the best desserts and this after bringing nothing to the potluck.  It could be said that the mother, instead of watching the kids was in the house trying to convince me to buy her a new phone and put minutes on it.  And it could be said that when it came time for the hay ride, both parents went and hid in the car and sent seven of the eight children on the hay ride unsupervised.  At least by them.

But it could also be said that my heart was very wrong.  I did not even think of my Bible verses for the day.  I was able to respond with kindness to the four extra children.  They were sweet, respectful and grateful.  But I chafed.  Oh, how I chafed at being so inconvenienced by the early arrival and the intensity of the whole evening.

You could say that the lights went out in my heart.  And I am not at all sure that my words were kind.  The thing is, God said that I should make the most of every opportunity.  Why?  So that I, as a believer, will be able to speak hope to the people who are without hope.

“It’s always right to be kind.”  

Last night, I got it wrong.

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Thoughts on this October day

I turned 60 today.

I don’t quite know how I got this old this quickly.  I don’t understand how this person who feels like myself is trapped in this body that the calendar says is 60.  I’ve never minded the passing of years, to be honest with you.  But maybe I just never took time to think about the sand in the hourglass and how it would, some day, run out.  I look at the years that lie behind me and realize, with the proverbial jolt, that the years ahead are far, far less than all those happy years that I’ve already lived.

Today has been such a happy day.  Each one of my siblings wished me a happy birthday.  My far away Oldest Brother and Middle Brother called, as did Youngest Brother.  I saw Youngest Sister at Sweet Mama’s this morning and talked to Middle Sister on the phone this afternoon.  And all the offspringin’s and the ones they love have called or texted or visited.  I have a little grandson in Ohio who shares my birthday, and I even talked to him on the phone tonight.  It has been a glorious day.

I’ve done some thinking this week about many things.  It’s been a season of missing my Daddy rather intensely.  I cannot always say why things sit heavy on our hearts at particular times, but it seems to me, after what is now the eighth summer without him, that the one thing that triggers it for me is putting the garden to rest for the season.  Certain Man has been taking down “them thar tomato thingies” and mowing off the spent vegetable plants.  I gathered the peppers and green tomatoes last week and made hot dog relish.  The few ripe tomatoes got put into a few last quarts of juice.

But the pole limas are still standing.  Yesterday, I picked what I am pretty certain is my last big picking from the twenty three plants that made it through this summer.  They have done exceptionally well this year.  When I finished the last bags for the freezer last night, I realized that I have seventy 3-cup bags in the freezer from this summer.  I’ve done them along, four bags here, six bags there, and a time or two there has been ten.  Wonderfully tender, vibrant green, and so, so good.  I am so grateful for the way the bags have added up this summer.

It is the eighth summer without our Dad.  When Daddy died in December of 2005, there were so many things that were the essence of him that we knew we could never replicate, never replace.  The man he was, and his influence on our lives.  His prayers.  His vibrant interest in each of us, and his steady encouragement.  We really can do nothing to fill in these spaces that were left when God called him home to Heaven.

But there were other things that we could do.  I could grow lima beans.  At least I thought I could.  I honestly didn’t know very much about it, seriously had no idea how much WORK was involved, but decided that it would be one way that I could maybe feel close to this man who was so HUGE in my life and was suddenly so gone.  Maybe I was somehow trying to capture a tangible part of Mark Yoder, Sr., and make it my own.  Certain Man was more than willing for me to try, and in the summer of 2006, at my request, he built the pole, wire and twine lattices for two rows of beans.  He asked for advice and got healthy plants from the experts.  He did the planting and the weeding and slowly the plants grew and blossomed and began growing beans.

I was impatient for beans.  The first ones I picked made barely a cup in the smallest pan I had.  They were so good, and Certain Man and I shared them, delighted with the first fruits of our labor.  Then I checked and rechecked and finally decided that I could actually do a real picking.  I think I got a basket.  They were little and piddly and wonderful flavor, but clearly not ready.  I’ve thought so much about that summer as I’ve picked big, full pods of limas off of my plants this year.  The truth was, when I barely got anything in those first pickings, I grew more and more discouraged.  My grief was so deep and terrible, and when I was in the bean patch, I missed Daddy with an ache that often had me wiping tears on my sleeves as I searched for the beans.  I didn’t really know what I was doing, and I had to feel each bean to see if it was ready, and the task seemed interminable.  I found myself more and more just staying out of the patch, not thinking about the passing of the days.

And then we had a hard, killing frost.  The leaves on the bean vines shriveled and died and the pods that I had never picked hung brown on the vines.  It looked like thousands of pods; good, good lima beans that had gone to waste.  I hated the sight so much.  Certain Man finally took them down, put the garden to rest, and I didn’t have to look at them anymore.  I didn’t know if I could even try to raise limas again.

Certain Man is not a man who allows me to wallow.  He understands grief.  He’s certainly had his share, and honest emotions are treated with gentle kindness.  But he dislikes moping almost as much as he likes lima beans.  And he had built those really good supports and I’m not sure he even asked me the next year if I wanted to have pole limas or not.  Had he asked, though, I probably would have said “yes.”  Spring always does that to me, and there is a hope and a deep belief that this year things will go better than they ever have, that the garden will stay weed-free, that there will be not produce left go to waste, and that no one will resent anything that might grow there.  Anyhow, Certain Man planted limas again in the summer of 2007 and things went a whole lot better.

Each year I think I’ve gotten more comfortable with our patch of beans.  I often think of Daddy while I’m out there picking, but I seldom need my sleeve for more than wiping sweat off my face.  The memories are warm and good and they often make me smile when I remember the man who probably picked thousands of bushels of lima beans in his time.  I remember his eyes and the laugh lines around them.  I remember the way he would sit on his chair and shell beans with drive and attention.  I think about how he liked to get a pan for the grandchildren and rope them into helping.  I remember his delight in a pot of lima beans, made by Sweet Mama, exactly the way he liked them, and the way he could put them away at a meal.

There are life lessons here, I know, and over the summer, there have been many life applications for this old gal that came from the bean patch.  But on this night, of the milestone birthday and realizing that Dad only had 16 years left when he was my age, and thinking about being faithful in small things and leaving memories behind us, and how, no matter how much people may want us to stay and think they need us, we don’t really have a choice as to when God calls us home– all these things somehow feel like they really have to do with the lessons I’ve learned in two rows of pole limas in a small garden patch on a Delaware Poultry farm.

Common, ordinary days that are touched with Heaven.

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Exercise for a Reluctant Heart

This morning in the bean patch, it was easy to feel like complaining.  It was muggy, and the flies were biting and leaving blotches of blood on my ankles.  I searched about the leaves and on the vines and the pickins were slim in comparison to other years.  The stink bugs had laid eggs on some of the beans and the wasps and the bumblebees droned about.

Sometimes when I’m in the bean patch, I find it helps to sing, and often, because I cannot think of what to sing next, I start with the alphabet and try to sing a song for each letter.

A — All Thing Bright and Beautiful

B — Be Still and Know

C — Come, Ye Disconsolate

D — Dare to be a Daniel

E — Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before

F — Follow the Path of Jesus

G — Going Down for the Last Time (That’s how you found me, Lord)

H — Heaven will surely be worth it all

I — I Owe the Lord a Morning Song.

And “I” always gets me.  If there is any song that I remember us singing as a family in family worship, it was this song.  So much so that I remember every word of every verse and am able to sing it (if the tears don’t choke it out, that is).  I think it must have been one of my Daddy’s favorite songs, his strong tenor would swoop and soar over our childish voices and Mama’s clear soprano.  When I look at when it was written, and by whom, I realize that it was one of the “newer songs” of the church in my Daddy’s youth, written by a Mennonite minister, Amos Forrer Herr, one Sunday morning when the snow was too deep for his horse to make it to church.

It’s a good song for the bean patch on a morning in August when you are running a race against the rain.  It makes the memories brighter, the load lighter, the job seem shorter, and the heart glad.

The next time you have a job that you don’t feel like doing, try this little exercise — with your own songs, of course.

It will help.  I promise.  Almost every single thing except maybe those biting flies.

You can use insect repellent for that,

The songs are good for the rest of what ails you.

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August 29, 2013 · 3:19 am

” . . . That shadows fall on Brightest Hours”

This weekend was the kind of stuff that the best of memories are made of.  All the offspringin’s home, and the four grandchildren.  This Mama/Grammy was at the height of happiness.

Before the light dawned on Friday morning, everyone was in Delaware.  There were twelve bodies sleeping in the nooks and crannies of the old farmhouse.  Middle Daughter had offered to make English Breakfast for the family and I slept solidly for the four hours that I was able to snatch after the last conversation was done and Cecilia and Nettie needed to get up for center.

There are always so many things that demand attention when a family is together, but this Grammy has been looking forward for many a day to having all four of the grandchildren together and going outside to play.  It didn’t take too long on this gorgeous Friday morning to gather them up and take them out to the blacktop circle where they could ride their trikes and various wheeled toys to their hearts’ content.  We took a long golf cart ride, and looked at all sorts of things around the back pasture.  Four children, age four and under, are wonderful companions for a grammy on a nature ride on a cool morning in August in Delaware, and the conversations were to be cherished.

We came back up to the house, and the boys and Charis were busily riding around and around the circle.  We have some specific rules in place at this house, and the one that I am not in the habit of bending (ever!) is that they may not go beyond the front walk in the driveway.  However, for these children, ages 4, 3, 2, and 1, the rule was different.  They had to stay in the circle area.  I was keeper of the lane and watcher of the children.  We were having a wonderful time.

But then I noticed that Liam, the two year old, had started to stray towards the lane.  I was probably twenty feet away and I said in a calm voice, “Liam-honey, stay here with Grammy.  You can’t go to the road.  You might get hurt.”

He put it in high gear and headed straight for the road.  I started in his direction.

“Liam!  Stop!  You cannot go to the road.”  I might as well have been talking to a post.  This little guy really put it into gear.  He was riding a very free wheeling little tractor that was powered by pushing off the ground with his feet.  He was exactly the right size.  With each push of his powerful little legs, the toy was traveling an unbelievable distance.  I started to run.  It became obvious that he was not going to stop.  I began screaming at the top of my lungs.

“Liam!!!  Stop!!!  You are going to get killed!!!  Stop!!!  Liam!!!  Stop NOW!!!”  I screamed and ran and screamed and ran.  Every time I almost got a grasp on him, he gave another shove and flew another ten feet.  There were no appendages on this little toy to grab.  Down the lane we went, little guy laughing like it was a big joke.  Grammy desperate and frantic and so, so scared, running as fast as her two replaced knees and almost 60 year old body could manage.

He never broke his stride for a second, out past the end of the fence,  and straight onto the road.  A car passed on the other side just as he got to the road, and he plowed on.  I was so traumatized I couldn’t think straight.  The way our lane is ordered, people coming down the road cannot see anything coming out until they are beyond the fence with the rose hedge going out to the road.  I barely even looked to see if anything was coming, but out of the corner of my eye I saw a car at our neighbor’s house two doors down with two more cars behind it.  I dashed out onto the road and grabbed the little guy and tried to pull him and the toy off the road.  He started to resist, and I picked his sturdy little body up, threw it under one arm grabbed the toy with the other and flew out of harm’s way.

I was so distraught and upset that I didn’t even look to see who had brought their car to a complete stop on the road.  I couldn’t bear to look at them.  I have wished a thousand times since that I would have gone and hugged them and thanked them and offered to do something for them in sincere gratitude, but I just couldn’t think.  My knees would scarcely function, and my heart was going two hundred beats a minute.  I carried him rather unceremoniously under my arm like a sack of wheat until we got to the edge of the garage.  I think it was then that I realized that Charis had followed me out, adding her voice to the fracas.  She was also more than a little worried.

“Come on, kids,” said this very trembly Grammy.  “We are going in.”

“Not want go in,” said a determined little voice from under my arm.

I pulled him into an upright position and said in a tired but convincing voice, “We are going in.  We need to tell Daddy and Mommy that you got onto the road.  Grammy cannot watch you if you do not listen.  You could have gotten hit out there and been killed.”  He squirmed and fussed and tried to get down.  It would have taken a much stronger guy than he was to pry him loose.

Si and Frankie began to protest as well, and Grammy put on her terrible voice.  “We are going in.  NOW.  All of you.  Maybe you can come back out later, but we need to go in now!”  For some reason, there was no more protest.  I herded the other three and carried Liam into the kitchen that was milling about with people.  Our house is so tight that no one had even heard the terrified screaming outside.

“We almost had a disaster,” I announced.  Everyone was instantly to attention, and I retold the tale, out of breath, still almost unable to keep from shaking violently and still scared spitless.  Liam’s parents were immediately on it, and I left him to them and their wisdom.  I found me a chair and sat down.  I felt so terrible, and all the “what if’s, and “might have been’s” and horrible scenarios went crashing through my brain.  I  have such a crazy imagination, and when I closed my eyes, I could see a crumpled and broken little boy body flying through the air after being hit by a vehicle.  Our road is so busy, and the possibility was so real.  I wanted to weep and weep and weep.

“Mama,” said Eldest Son gently after things had settled down with the parental admonition.  “You are hating it, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am,” I said tearily.  “It could have been so terrible.”

“Mom,”  he said a bit firmly, “you are going to have to let it go.  It didn’t happen.  That’s what matters.  It didn’t happen.”

“I know, but–” (I just had to say it–) “I could not have borne it it if something had happened to him while I was supposed to be watching him.  And it so easily could have!”

“I know, Mama,” he said, ” and I think about it, too.  It would have been terrible for something to happen to him, and I don’t know what we would have done, legally and all, (since the boys are still under Ohio’s Foster Care System) but the truth is, it didn’t.   And we have to think about that.”

I was comforted some, but it didn’t help much, to be honest.  My knees felt like jelly for the whole rest of the day.  My heart was given to strange accelerations whenever certain reminders popped up,  and my whole body felt like it had run a marathon.  Well, maybe a hundred foot dash.

He tried it again, later that day when his Mommy and Daddy were there.  They are younger than me, Eldest Son has a more terrible voice and longer legs and he got stopped before he got too far.  We parked a car in the driveway at the front door then, so there would at least be an obstacle.  And continued to keep close watch.

This weekend was a wonderful time.  We saw so many people that we love, and had just the best time ever!  I don’t think our wedding reception was as much fun as this party.  (But then, I don’t remember much of that wedding reception, to tell you the truth!)  And our offspringin’s did themselves proud.  I cannot find fault with a thing.

But there was an understanding that made its quiet spot in my heart through all the festivities — the knowledge that all of this could have been changed in a single split second.  The realization that every single minute of happiness that we enjoy is truly a gift from God, and that He is to be praised for His watchful care and generous provision for us.  Does that mean that if Liam had gotten hit on the road that God wasn’t on His job?  No.  It means that God is God, and that for whatever reason, He protected and provided and allowed us to have a wonderful time with friends and family instead of grieving a terrible accident.

And Lord Jesus, Master of the Wind, Maker of the Waves, Blessed Controller of All Things, my Savior and Lord, I love you.

My heart gives grateful praise.

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First Day of Marketing

So tonight Eldest Daughter and Beloved Son in Law got a whole lot of books ready for shipping tomorrow.  I wanted to help.  I wanted to write the addresses.  I wanted to rejoice over every single order.  I wanted to laugh and exclaim and do all sorts of celebrating.

But I couldn’t.

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I was too busy immersing my left hand into a two gallon pitcher of ice water.

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You see, on this gloriously happy day, I steamed more than grapes.

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My trusty steamer betrayed me and sprayed scalding juice on my left hand, seriously burning my index finger.
(There are actually other blisters that aren’t visible here.  This is the impressive one.)

It’s been really painful, but it is now almost five hours later and I think I just might live.

The laundry is done, but my kitchen is a disaster.

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(It looks pretty bad, I know, but it would look even worse if it weren’t for the faithful ministrations of Eldest Daughter who took care of seriously necessary things and helped in a dozen integral ways (I love you, Christina!) and Beloved Son in Law who helped fill some of the jars with juice when I couldn’t think straight for the pain.  Besides, If I just go in there and close some cupboard doors and load the dishwasher and put some pans in to soak, it will look even more better!

Tomorrow is another day.  I have so much to be grateful for tonight.  I have my van back and it is beautiful and it is running.  Youngest Daughter made her trip to Cedarville, Ohio with many delays but no accident, though she saw such along the way.  The washer and dryer worked faithfully and well, and the laundry is pretty much done except for folding towels — which Middle Daughter always does for me.

And so, even though I can scarcely bend this finger, and even though I may have trouble getting to sleep tonight, I will count my blessings and smile when I try to sleep, and pray when I can’t.

I love you all out there who have come, called, e-mailed and messaged me to get a copy of the book on this first marketing day.  It really, really surprises me — and humbles me, and makes me glad that I listened to Beloved Son in Law and ordered more than a hundred for our first run.  I Love you, Jesse.  THANKS.

And Lord Jesus, Master of the Wind, Maker of the Waves, and Blessed Controller of All Things, I love you, too. My heart gives grateful praise.

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So you think you want a book?

My book is ready to sell.  

If you want one, you can email us at  cmwstories@gmail.com or call 302-422-5952 (My phone) or 302-382-6170 (Christina’s phone) and we’ll either mail one out or set one aside for you.  

The cost is $14.00 each if you get it this weekend at the Anniversary Celebration or pick it up at our house.

 If you want it mailed, shipping and handling is 2.50 for the first book and if you order more than one, each additional one is an extra .50 for shipping.  

You are welcome to pick them up at my house.  Or you can order and we will mail and invoice once we have your address and order.

Eldest Daughter is my partner in this sales endeavor, so it is fine to contact either of us.  

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Sunday Musings

I always thought that my Daddy would live a long, long time.  I thought he would be one of these wizened old men, running around, working and gardening and visiting and traveling.  I thought that he would continue to have things to say for our church and that he would be a wellspring of counsel and encouragement to people in general, his family in particular.

I don’t know why he had to die at 76.  Maybe it was the exposure to the insecticides and pesticides that he used on the farm that turned his skin yellow in the summer breezes when he sprayed his fields.  They didn’t have the restrictions and warnings and even the protection then that they do now.  He didn’t like to farm.  The work was hard and so often things were unpredictable in the un-irrigated acres that were Fair Hope Farm.  I suspect that he welcomed the chemicals that seemed to make life easier.  It’s hard to farm with a two bottom plow and a two row cultivator.  It was far easier than the horses that his Papa used to work the same fields through the Great Depression and the decades following, but the work was non-stop and even with the “modern conveniences” it was a grind.

When Daddy went to work at the Country Rest Home in the early 70’s, he was still a young man in his early 40’s.  As a family, we were uncertain as to how this would work out and we actually tried to talk him out of it.  He said that he would follow our wishes, but we knew that he desperately wanted something different than the farm.  In the end, Daddy did what he wanted to do.  (As he usually did!)  There were challenges there, and he wasn’t always happy, but he had a dream, and he held on and he expanded his life beyond the confines of his business and he did well.  Not only with the vision that made the Country Rest Home what it is today, but in things that involved relationships, church planting, people business and especially his six children, their spouses and his 27 grandchildren.  He lived to see eight of those grandchildren married, and to hold some of his great grandchildren.

Yesterday, as I was contemplating where my life is now, and the fact that I have a book that we are ready to market, that Daniel and I are ready to celebrate 40 years together, the offspringin’s are coming home, and I turn 60 in two short months –it seemed like my mind is unable to shake thoughts of my Daddy.

What would he think?

What would he say?

Would he be proud of his girl?

He was such an encourager, and he often gave me reason to think thoughts way bigger than myself.  I think he would be pleased.  He wouldn’t know quite what to think about some of the stories.  He would be surprised to find himself in some.

I don’t know what he would say, or think or do.

But I wish I did.

I wish I did.

I just never thought that one of the by products of this dream come true would be fresh grief over a loss that is 2799 days old.

Can he really be so long gone?

It feels so new.

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Ordinary Days with a twist of God . . .

Thursday morning started entirely too soon.  On Wednesday night, we had gathered at our country church to clean.  There were helping hands and willing hearts and we moved a BUNCH of dirt.  We’ve been in the process of remodeling and painting, moving church benches around, getting rid of a large number of benches (does anybody want some, cheap?) and the basement really needed attention.  When this illustrious event happened to fall on the fourteenth of August, the wife of Certain Man thought it well pleasing to celebrate Certain Man’s 60th birthday.  (What with it actually being the exact day.)  So there were people called, a cake arranged for, and other refreshments planned and when the work was mostly done, friends helped to celebrate.

But the hour got late, and CMW needed to stop by the store on the way home to buy some sausage.  Certain Man’s office had planned a breakfast and he had promised to bring sausage gravy.  By the time CMW got to bed that night it was quite late, indeed.  And then, come morning, it was “up and at’m” pretty early so that the gravy could be finished before Certain Man left for work at seven.

Everything got accomplished in fairly good timing. Cecilia and Nettie got on their buses, and CMW was getting on with her day, when she remembered something important.  Nettie’s wallet.

CMW carries two wallets in her pocketbook that belong to the individuals who make their home at Shady Acres. Cecilia’s is white.  Nettie’s is an electric purple.  They are the modern hard cased, hard to open things that contain the many cards and identification items that CMW needs for them from time to time.  They are probably the most important item in the lives of these two ladies because it holds their access to health care, savings accounts and family information.  CMW never treats them lightly.

However, on Tuesday night while CMW was taking friend Torre for some items for school, she had stopped at the bank to withdraw some much needed funds for Nettie just before taking Torre home.  CMW had enjoyed a great time with Torre, and the buys they had found were beyond good (actually, incredible!) but the hour was quite late.  CMW told stories about ATM’s and people coming out of the bushes when Certain Man was depositing the church’s offerings, and there was much exclaiming and shivering while CMW searched frantically through her purse, trying to find Nettie’s wallet.  She finally discovered that it had slipped through a rip that was behind a zippered compartment in her purse and was floating around in the darkness beneath the lining.  Once she found it, there was a hasty withdrawal, and a stuffing of receipt and money into the wallet, and the two gals headed home.  It was 10:15 until Torre was home and her mom talked to and then CMW headed home.

Some time during the day on Wednesday, while CMW was out and about with her Sweet Mama, she realized that Nettie’s wallet was missing again.

“It probably slid down through that rip again,” thought CMW.  “I really need to do something about fixing that.”  And she put it towards the back of her mind.  But then she would think about it and wonder if it really was there.  She made a few perfunctory passes through the purse and didn’t see it, but her purse is notoriously unorganized and so she thought she just must be missing it somehow.  She finally decided that she really needed to look for it in earnest.  That would have been Thursday morning. In her (ahem!) spare time.

The thing was, it was the last day for Youngest Daughter to have the three kids that have been part of her summer job.  They were heading out for some fun things to do.  CMW was hoping to take her rental van home that morning because she was sick of it.  Well, actually, sick of paying for it and homesick for her own van that was to be finished by Friday. There were deposits that needed to go to two different banks and several canning and household chores clamoring for attention.  And the man at Enterprise said the van needed to be back by 11 o’clock to avoid being charged for another day.

But then she remembered that she hadn’t found Nettie’s wallet yet and it just might (probably was!) somewhere in that van.  She had to find that wallet before she took the van back.  So she first dumped all the contents of her purse out on the counter and methodically went through them.  This was an exercise in futility.  There was no bright purple wallet. Not even slipped down under the lining.  Then she went out and went through the van.  She carefully looked and looked.  Nothing.

She came back into the house and spoke sad words with Youngest Daughter.

“Boy, Mom,” said Youngest Daughter sympathetically, “you’ve not been having the best of times with your ladies the last few weeks, have you?”

CMW murmured assent, but thought ruefully that she hadn’t been having the best of times with a number of integral parts of her life the last few weeks.  And grumbling didn’t help.  She went back out to the van and looked again, including places that just weren’t likely.  Then she came in and called Sweet Mama.

“Mama, is there any chance that I inadvertently dropped Nettie’s wallet into your pocket book yesterday when we were in Lewes? ”  she asked hopefully.

“I don’t know,” said Sweet Mama, “let me look.”  She returned to the phone with another negative answer.

“Do you remember seeing it?”

“No.  Not at all,” replied Sweet Mama.  “It is something I think I would have noticed because it is so unusual.  I don’t recall seeing it all day.”

CMW returned to the van and looked some more.  The situation was looking more and more hopeless to her.  How in the world would she ever recreate all the information that was in there?  And since the medication error of a few weeks ago, she has tried really, really hard not to draw any attention to herself in any way whatsoever when it came to her ladies and the State of Delaware.  There was over a hundred dollars in there, too, as well as two very important receipts.  She had been murmuring some desperate prayers as she muddled about, but it was time for some serious praying.  So pray, she did!

The one thing that kept nagging at the back of her mind was whether it had maybe fallen out on the back alley at Torre’s house.  She knew that Torre would never have taken it, but since she hadn’t seen it since that night, she began to wonder if she may have dropped it somehow when she and Torre were unloading the car.  However, the last thing she wanted Torre to think was that she was suspecting her.  The dilemma about whether or not to call Torre waged for quite a while, but as the morning passed, she decided that she should at least check and see.

“No,” said a surprised Torre, “I didn’t see anything out there on the drive at all.”  I wasn’t surprised.  That alley is a pretty busy place and if a brilliant purple wallet had been lying there, it would have been eye catching.  CMW began to resign herself to the fact that it was gone for good.

Unknown to her, Youngest Daughter was busily entreating Heaven on behalf of her troubled mama.  CMW noticed that she was unusually busy around the kitchen and unusually quiet, but was too besot with her own troubles to wonder.

And then CMW decided to look through the van one more time.  It seemed futile, because she had opened every compartment, looked under every seat, opened every door and snooped through places she didn’t even know were there.  She had cleaned out all the trash in preparation for returning the rented vehicle, and collected all the things that had accumulated over the course of the nine days that the family had the vehicle.  There really was no where else to look, but an almost compelling force drew her back out.  Discouraged, she opened the door, and there, right on the passenger seat lay the familiar purple wallet.

To say that there was great astonishment would be an understatement.  To say that there was great rejoicing would also be an understatement.

Dancing on a garage floor,
Hands raised to my Father.
Tears of relief.
Giddy with grateful joy.

Mystery of mysteries.
How could this be so?

I do not know why
The God of the Universe
Concerns Himself with me —
Careless, unobservant, and human.

I don’t know why.

But this I know.
A miracle came today
Out of the blue
In the color of purple.

And my heart gives Grateful Praise.

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My Book is Printed . . .

book front cover      Book Back

We are still working on the marketing strategy and have a few things that need ironed out —

But I held the very first copy in my hands this afternoon and still cannot believe it is real.

There are mistakes, as I’ve already found.  But I expected that.

I will be posting how to get one once the big order gets here and I know a little more what I am doing.

Whew!

Now I need to come back down from my “high” and go clean my refrigerator.

And steam some grapes for juice.

And blanch some lima beans for freezing.

And cook some tomatoes for pizza sauce.

How’s that for a dose of reality on this Glorious Delaware Afternoon?

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