Monthly Archives: March 2007

When my days are full


Of the many demands


That are justly mine.


And my heart feels empty of good and true


And full of the ugly and the lies of our time-


Lord Jesus, hold my hand steady.


And when my “cup” is jiggled,


Make me remember that


What spills out in those unexpected trials


Is what I have chosen to already put there.


It isn’t what others do, or say, or think


That makes me do or say or think.


It’s those same old choices,


Coming out of that same old nature


Spilling across the pages of my days


Leaving their colors there.


Ah, my Heavenly Father


May the love of your Sweet Son, Jesus


Fill this heart of mine in ways that overflow


In Living Water, so that what “gets spilled”


Is only more of You.

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It has been a week of interesting challenges.

Our Nettie-girl has enjoyed some months of relative tranquility.  But about a month ago, she started to show signs of agitation and depression.  I tried numerous tactics to divert attention, improve the mood, speak hope and finally, requested consultation.  This resulted in a medication change which certainly holds promise but did very little for the immediate behavior.  There have been days when I have prayed fervently that my Heavenly Father would gift me with wisdom way beyond myself, for we do believe that He brought Nettie to us and that He wants to bring her to stability and peace.  God has been merciful to us all.  (Of course, crashing in on the end of this week was full moon.  I am thankful that things are no worse.  I am hopeful for better days.)

And then, at the beginning of the week, Cecilia came down with bronchitis.  Her doctor agreed to see her first thing Monday morning, and got her started on antibiotics.  On Wednesday, she was coughing as much as ever, and she was still running a temp.  So we had a medication change and added a cough syrup.  And she has slowly improved as far as her illness.  She has developed some interesting behaviors that appear to be designed to make me sigh.  (Why would someone who is coughing alot already want to run her feeding spoon down her throat until she almost throws up????)  Sigh.

And this week was Science Fair.  Enough said.

And Beloved Son in Law was gone this week for a training class.  The nice side of this was that we got to see a whole lot more of Eldest Daughter.  That bad, bad side was that we all miss him intensely when he is gone.

And this was the week that we refilled our chicken houses with baby chicks.  Certain Man has worked himself silly.

I’ve been pondering alot this week about how our hearts respond when there are things that are not in our plans.  There have been moments of glory this week that have left me breathless with wonder and amazement at God’s incredible gifts to us.

Right now, outside the sliding glass doors that lead to my deck, to the East, there is a phenomenal Lunar Eclipse.  Certain Man made sure I knew.

I spent precious hours with my Sweet Mama and with my Bible Study Girls and with a new friend and with my daughters and my incredible husband.

I prayed for my far-away sons and thought about their hearts, and about the men they are becoming and missed them intensely and was comforted by the knowledge that, though they are out of my sight, they are not beyond the reach of my prayers.

I listened to my Youngest Brother tell of a recent dream he had about my Daddy, and it felt like I had word from Heaven, somehow, and it made me cry, and it made me laugh and it made me think about the eternal and how very much we have to look forward to.  I thought of my Friend, Ethel, and about how that what was once “through a glass darkly, is now FACE TO FACE”.  And I wondered what she would say to me if she could talk to me now.

I’ve been so blessed this week by a poem that I found in the November/December Discipleship Journal and for those of you who are still with me, I want to share it with you.

A PSALM OF WANDERING
by Joseph Bayly

Lord, You know
I’m such a stupid sheep.
I worry
about all sorts of things
whether I’ll find grazing land
still cool water
a fold at night
in which I can feel safe.
I don’t.
I only find troubles
want
loss.

I turn aside from You
to plan my rebel way.
I go astray.
I follow other shepherds
even other stupid sheep.
Then when I end up
on some dark mountain
cliffs before
wild animals behind
I start to bleat
Shepherd Shepherd
find me
save me
or I die.
And you do.

Ah, yes, my friends.  He does!  He does!

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What a gorgeous, windy, sunny, sheet-drying day this turned out to be!  I almost can believe that spring will actually come!  Certain Man spent time out in his garden today, “evaluating” and I saw the green sprigs of tulips on the front side of my barbecue pit.  I am anxious for some nice warm days.

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