Today begins a countdown — of sorts.

Beginning today, there will be no ibuprofen allowed until surgery is over.  800 milligrams 3Xdaily will definitely be missed . . .

But this is the season of Grateful Praise, and I have learned that practicing the development of a thankful spirit is a great antidote against a heavy heart.  Not that there is no place for mourning.  I’ve done my share over the last few weeks after reading the following powerful words in a post from one of my Xanga friends:   

” . . . Then we wrestle with His sovereignty. Knowing that He allowed it.
We wrestle with His providence. Wondering on a good-bad day, but demanding on a bad-bad day; why on earth this was considered wisdom in management, love and care for His children, or provision for the future?!
We wrestle with guilt. Measuring ourselves among ourselves, we come up with some kind of pain-o-meter, feeling bad that we hurt when so and so is…you fill in the blanks.
God does not minimize heartbreak, people do. (Beth Moore)
He is not scared by how big something is, we are.
“Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Not, “blessed are they that cope, by deciding someone else has more pain”.
How can He bind our wounds, if we try to believe that we’re not really that wounded?”

(Thank-you, down_onthefarm  for these words.  I’ve been encouraged because of them!)

And so, I took a day after reading this, and MOURNED.  And there were plenty of things to mourn about.    Some of the choices made within my physical family give me grief, but there are a host of unspoken things, private things and Family of God things that had caused my heart to feel “unwhole”.  I don’t know if my eyes were really dry for an entire day.  My family worried.  But it was cathartic.  And I felt like God was mourning with me.  And I felt comforted.

And then I felt like God was nudging me again to praise Him.  To acknowlege that though I had reasons to mourn, The time for thanksgiving was now at hand, and I needed to not “get stuck” in the mourning.

I may not always make this, but I am hoping to blog a thankful blog at the end of each day this week.  Specific things for specific days.  I have a challenging week ahead of me.  Pray that God would give me eyes of Grateful Praise, and that I would be faithful to his call.

  

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  1. I’m following your countdown – and lifting you to the wonderful, mighty God we serve.

  2. Just Letting you know ,I am praying for you ,I do not know what you are mourning about ,Nor do I need to ,But I am Praying ,I am again in awe of God’s love .Read update~ And I know you feel him too:) take care my friend

  3. Oh, how I feel your heart, Mary Ann. It has been from the depths of mourning that God has given me some of the strongest promises. At one point this summer I was able to keep going only because I found the words in Exodus 14:14 practically shouting to me: “The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still.” At another point I wrote down five of my deepest heartaches and worries and determined that I would turn them into sacrifices of praise so that God would be honored and I would open the way for Him to show me His salvation. (Psalm 50:23) I believe that some day I will have a story to tell, but not yet.Praying for you at this very crucial time in your life.

  4. I’ll be praying for you, dear friend.  I love you.

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