Yesterday, the mom of some of our kids asked for money to pay the electric bill.

“Can u help us with elec till the 3rd will pay bck” she texted.  “i will sighn that i will pay bck. Please.”

There has been two years of paying bills for this family.  Some out of our church’s Benevolence fund, some personal.  Certain Man has asked me not to give her any more money, church or personal.  I’ve been telling her this for at least three months.  She keeps asking.  There are always extenuating circumstances.  But there are also things that trouble me exceedingly — several new tattoos, expensive “lie” magazines in the grocery bags that she borrowed money to pay for with the promise of paying back — but she never did.  That “signing” bit was something I decided to do the last time when I loaned her $100.00 from the church and $70 of my own.  She signed to return the churches money and paid it back.  She never pretended that she was going to pay back the $70.

Next month is Christmas.  She is already trying to borrow money for last month’s electric bill.  I know she won’t have the money for next month’s bill.  And Christmas is coming up.  The chances of her paying back anything she borrows is zilch.  I know.  I’ve been there. 

And so, I prayed and thought, talked to Certain Man and prayed some more.  I felt strongly that God wanted me to be a woman of my word.  I had told her there would be no more money.  It was time for me to be steadfast here and honor my word.  I sent back a text, tried to word things gently, but said “no.”

She never responded with a single word.

It’s cold in Delaware this morning.  The kind of damp that goes right through you.  Drizzle is making things seem even more dismal.  

Yesterday was the day for turning off electricity.  

I wonder if “my kids” are okay this morning.  

I wonder if it is dark and cold at their house.  

I wonder if they wonder why Ms. Mary Ann and Mr. Daniel didn’t come through for them.  

I wonder if I did the right thing.

“Oh, Lord Jesus.  When I’ve done the best I know, and it still feels so wrong, could you please bring good into the lives of this family that will be for eternal gain?  Soften hearts, bring responsibility and discipline into the lives of these parents before it is forever too late.  May Jesus be given His place in this family, yes, but especially in the hearts of those who love you and seek to be Jesus to this situation.  How desperately I need wisdom!  How small my boat, how large and turbulent the sea!  Speak peace to these waves that drench my soul with sadness.  And please, protect the children.  May your presence be a guiding light in the darkness with which they are forced to live.”

“Oh, Lord Jesus.  The children!”



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8 responses to “

  1. Your tender heart aches over this family.   I hope and pray that you will see something positive come from this!  Love you.

  2. Yes, the children. That’s what hurts the worst – when children suffer for the bad decisions of the parents. May God give you wisdom!

  3. Bless those kids hearts-but you did the right thing–you can’t help those who won’t help themselves. God bless you for what you have done and he will bless you again for helping them stand on their own feet and take care of their kids !

  4. I’m praying with you that the children will be cared for, and that hearts will be softened.  Breaks my heart that some are so irresponsible that their children suffer so. And who gets the blame? Not the irresponsible parent, but those who’ve been asked for help but don’t.  I’m blessed, though, that you care so deeply, and believe with Maggietx1 that God will bless you real good!

  5. This breaks my heart as well, and I join the others in praying for you and them.

  6. Very touching blog entry. I pray that you will have the wisdom God is sharing thru your husband and your prayers. I’m sure you did the right thing but I understand your feelings. God may be meeting the needs of those children in another way. God bless you and the children.

  7. hugs to you….for being there. May God give you wisdom in this situation

  8. That’s a hard situation. I know there are people like that. Praying that God will take care of those children, and that you and your husband will have God’s wisdom. You have done so much for them already.

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