Today I had an inspection.  If a person is licensed with the state, and provides care for individuals under the Department of Disabilities Services, they must actually endure two yearly inspections.

But I haven’t had my heart in getting ready.  Much.  So “unmuch” so that today, Middle Daughter said to me, “Mom, am I missing something here?  We just aren’t in the usual ‘fantically getting ready’ mode that you usually are.”

I said, “I don’t know, Beebs.  I think I’m just tired of the whole thing.   I decided that they were coming to inspect our house as one of the very first ones and I decided that if I didn’t pass, I would just make them come back.”

We did do some important repair work to get ready.  Last night, Certain Man and I replaced some ceiling tiles in the ladies’ bedroom where there has been a troublesome leak.  We recently got the roof repaired, and thought the leak was (finally!) gone for good.  We think it is taken care of in the bedroom, but back in the closet, we had a wet ceiling tile last night, so there must be something still amiss.  I decided not to bring it up as long as the inspector didn’t say anything.  She didn’t, and I didn’t either, and I passed just fine, so that will give us some time to get it taken care of.

I used to spend weeks dreading the inspection, cleaning to within an inch of its life everything that I remotely thought might fall under the watchful eyes of those who came to find me out.  I remember one time that an inspector backed into the closet of a bedroom upstairs, and shone his ever present flashlight up into the corners all around in that dark place and announced, “There are cobwebs in here!” 

I was trying to stay out of his way, hovering on the stairway, and Certain Man was right behind me.  He wasn’t very happy at the pronouncement of cobwebs and he said, without any quietness to his voice at all, “Take those cobwebs and wrap them around his neck!”

I didn’t pass that inspection.  Wonder why?

But I did pass today, and that is what matters to me.  And I really didn’t do anything extra or special or frantic.  I guess they will allow me to keep my precious ladies for another period of time.  I have been a care provider for the State for over 28 years.  Sometimes I look at my life and how the dimensions have been expanded and enriched and changed and (sometimes) frustrated by the people that God has brought into our family’s life and I am so grateful for the opportunity I’ve had to be a stay at home mama even while serving in a position that is so wrapped up in service to those who are unable to help themselves.  

Back in the early years of my experience, I often found myself at odds with those in authority over me over things such as clothing lists or spending records or medications or whatever.  And I still do not approve of many of the things that are required or encouraged or expected, but somewhere along the line, I came to understand that it was in the best interest of all concerned if I would save the “digging in of the heels” for things that really mattered.  And then, as time passed, I found that there were precious few things that really were worth a fight.

They want to teach Cecilia how to handle money?  Have at it!  (And good luck with that!)

They want Nettie to go on an excursion to Salisbury Zoo?  Fine!  I’ll do all I can to make easy for them to do it.

They want Cecilia to sign her Financial Records each month?  Sure!  Just know that I hold the hand that holds the pen while she blindly scribbles around somewhere in the area of the signature line.

And on and on and on . . .

So much of it is just foolishness, I know.  But so what?  If it gets my ladies what they need, and if it keeps the powers that be from coming in and going over everything with a fine tooth comb, I’m all for it.  I just decided that I wanted to be known for my cooperation and flexibility — while still getting what my ladies need even when it isn’t exactly what I want to do.

It feels good to have this behind me for another while.  During the summer, the state bureau of Licensing will send someone out to do another inspection, and that one has its own challenges.  There is little difference between the two as far as intensity, but my license hangs on that one — my contract on this.

And now, supper is over, and it’s time for some evening chores.  I would sorta’ like to just vegetate but there are things to be done.  My heart is full of so many things tonight, but there is much cause for Grateful Praise. 

And so, I offer here the sacrifice of a thankful heart.