Okay, so I know that I’ve (maybe!) been more than a little stressed these days, what with funerals and grandbabies and hospitals and chickens coming and now catching a little bit of the bug that’s going around, but today made me know that I have got to gather my wits around me and pay attention.

I have this sore throat and stuffy nose. (But not that horrible cough.  So far.  Thank God!) I got up this morning feeling more ragged around the edges than I have for a long time.  So I sat on my chair in the sunshine and slept and then moseyed about, getting my ladies up, combing my hair, and just really not doing much.  Had some unexpected company, which was delightful, and finally, after one o’clock this afternoon, I bestirred myself to get dressed in a skirt and top to run up to Shawnee Country Store to pick up some lunch for the family.

It was a bit chilly out, so I grabbed one of my shortest jackets and threw it on, and headed out the door.  When I got to Shawnee Country Store, the order wasn’t quite ready yet, so i meandered about the store and then waited in the aisle by the cash register until things were done.  It’s always a mixed up mess when I get things for everyone because Nettie and Cecilia all need separate checks, and it seems like there is always a line when we are getting everything separated and into their proper receipts.  But we finally got that done and I got the different bags and headed home.

I parceled out the things for everyone except Cecilia, and then I took off my coat before cutting her stuff into small bite size pieces.  Suddenly something really looked strange with my skirt.  I looked at it carefully, and here, in my haste, I had it turned exactly halfway around when I put it on.  There was this big, long, gaping pocket right in front in the middle, kinda looking like a careless male’s X-Y-Z situation.  I was embarrassed to see that, but when I thought about the fact that a similar situation had also occurred in (ahem!) the rear, I was mortified.  Especially when I realized that there had been no coverage from that “shortest jacket” business.

But that wasn’t the only faux pas.  A bare fifteen minutes later, I was on my chair, eating my half sub when I saw Eldest Daughter looking at me the way my daddy always looked at me when I wasn’t sitting like a lady.  I couldn’t figure out what she meant.  My skirt was properly over my knees.  I wasn’t sitting across from a male, anyhow.  What was the big deal?   Then she hissed, “Mom, your shirt!”

Oh, dear.  Somehow my old red shirt, once so highly favored by yours truly, had betrayed me.  It had rolled up somehow, and there, as bare as could be was a most unattractive roll of tummy showing.  I grabbed the offending hem and yanked it down, again almost unable to believe that I didn’t feel the fresh air blowing where it never does.  I just could not believe that I hadn’t noticed!

I often say that when I have a stuffy nose, I can’t think. (My brain needs air!)   Now it appears that not only can I not think, I cannot see or hear.


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10 responses to “

  1. So sorry you’re throat is sore and your nose is stuffy. How nice of you to give us this good laugh in spite of it!!

  2. Oh Mary you are so funny. Makes me not feel so bad. Less then a month ago I was trying on clothes at Salvation Army. Made a stop at Food Lion before coming home. Holly promptly asks me, “Mom don’t you know you have your shirt wrong side out.?” Big tag hanging down the back of my neck and raggly seams everywhere. Now that explains why that women was looking at me funny in the long, slow moving, Salvaion Army line!

  3. Oh, goodness!  I had a similar, and MUCH more embarrassing thing happen to me on a recent Sunday at church.  I had to rush out to blow my nose (it really must be a problem with our brains needing air!), when my slip was suddenly down at my ankles! The elastic had finally given out and down it went! I was ever so thankful that everyone was bowed in prayer, or I’d have just died right there on the spot!!I hope you feel better real soon!

  4. Shawnee?  Near Spencerville?Once I took a friend of my daughter to an Alpha meeting, and at the end he came up to whisper something in my ear.  I thought he was about to ask about the lecture on Jesus when he said “your shirt is inside out!”

  5. This was so funny, my family asked me why I was laughing!  ( i didn’t tell them )Love you lots, sorry about all the stress in your life right now, and I hope you feel better soon!

  6. What a giggly way to start my day..  (o;    Hope you get to feeling lots better soon!!

  7. I think we have all done one of those dumb things at some time. Thank you for sharing yours with us–gave us all a smile to start the day !

  8. Although I don’t know you I still got a chuckle with your situation. “Wardrobe Malfunction” Reminds me of a few weeks ago in my haste I went to work at the Dr’s office with my navy blue skirt on inside out. Everyone said they hadn’t noticed. I guess that goes to show I don’t need to feel self conscious of being the only one in the building with a skirt on; no one notices. MSchrock

  9. Hope you are feeling better! Enjoyed your story. Several years ago we visited a church in Minnesota, and when we got back to our host’s house, I discovered I had worn my skirt just as you had. Albeit no pockets!

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