Healthy Humor

One of Certain Man’s beloved Aunties passed this on to me.  The fact that I found it funny also discomfited me.  Some of these things are so close home, if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry!


 


A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office.




“Is it true,” she wanted to know,

“that the medication you prescribed has

to be taken for the rest of my life?””

“Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,

“I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition

because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS.'”

—————————————–

An older gentleman was on the operating table

awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,

a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia

he asked to speak to his son.

“Yes, Dad, what is it?”

“Don’t be nervous, son;

do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well,

if something happens to me, your mother is going to come

and live with you and your wife….”

——————————– ———

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you

stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

——————————————

The older we get, the fewer things seem

worth waiting in line for.

——————————————

Some people try to turn back their odometers.

Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way.

I’ve traveled a long way and some of the

roads weren’t paved.

——————————————–

When you are dissatisfied and would

like to go back to youth,

think of Algebra class.

———————————————

You know you are getting old when everything

either dries up or leaks.

———————————————-

I don’t know how I got over the hill

without getting to the top.

———————————————-

One of the many things no one tells you about aging

is that it is such a nice change from being young.

—————– —————————–

Ah, being young is beautiful,

but being old is comfortable.

———————————————–

First you forget names, then you forget faces.

Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

But it’s worse when you forget to pull it down.

——————————————-

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground

with sticks, it was called witchcraft.

Today, it’s called golf.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lord,

Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth…AMEN..







LiveWell * Laugh Often * Love Much!

6 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

6 responses to “Healthy Humor

  1. Very funny.
    I like”youth is wasted on the young”.
    Your ending prayer is the same one Dominie thought I needed LOL but don’t we all?
    How is/was your weekend?

  2. My parents sent me this one recently! Oh, yes, some of them are entirely toooo familiar!!

  3. Thanks for the morning laughs!

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