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I feel sad tonight. 

A beloved Uncle wrote on our Wert family blog of yet another young person’s death among the children of their close friends.  In our extended family, we have experienced an unusual amount of tragedy and reversal and loss over these last months.  (We probably aren’t so different than other families, but it seems like it has been unusually much!)  And in the voices of my aunts and uncles and cousins on both sides of my family, it seems like I am hearing a heart sorrow and a soul weariness as they try to make sense of the events of this summer.  They are courageous.  They are strong.  They are mostly full of faith.  But it still hurts.
 
I read through the messages on our family e-mail groups this afternoon, and thought about how drastically our lives can turn in an instant, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a season, a year.  Sorrow, grief and pain will be what defines this summer for alot of us. 

The aforementioned uncle, in addition to dealing with a number of deaths this summer (the latest one is especially close to his heart) has also been hard hit with the diagnosis of Autism that was handed to a small grandson.   There are no easy answers for this.  I think of him and his family often — and pray. 

My Uncle Vernon and Aunt Freda are dealing with selling their home, cleaning it out, packing things for a retirement home, and it has been bittersweet, poignant and exhausting.  I watch them work bravely at making the adjustment and think how life has a way of progressing to places where the decisions we have to make are such mixed bags of grief and glory. 

I think of my cousin, Jon and how we don’t ever really plan for such an unexpected change as he has had to deal with, and how, though he is on uncharted territory, he is leaving a map for us that I believe will be useful to alot of us. 

I think of how our Wert Family was together the other week and I saw the faces of my beloved Aunties and Uncles after absences of much too long.  I found myself unduly startled to see them getting older.  I will always think of them as they were way back when I was a child — and when these imposters keep popping up in front of my face that have stolen the youth and the energy I want to scream “Halt!!!  Who goes there???”
 
And then I look in the mirror and see this almost 56 year old lady who has to struggle with almost everything she wants to do and once again, I come back to the premise that I believe with all my heart:  We are created to live forever.  “This isn’t me.” I want to insist.  “Someone came while I was busy living and changed the package.  I’m sure that if I look hard enough I will find the gal who can go on 5 hours of sleep and keep up with everything that needs doing.”  The only thing is, somewhere, even while I protest, I hear the hollow sound of my voice echoing into the corridors of eternity and I realize that most of what is gone is gone forever.  I can get new knees, and I can do any of a number of self improvement things, but anything I do is still only temporary. 

Sometimes I grieve over just how temporary.  Sometimes I rejoice. 
 
Today I’ve done my share of both.

 

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So today I saw the renown orthopaedic surgeon, Dr. Wilson Choy.  And I am quite impressed with him and his manners and his knowledge and his experience and his track record.

He readily acknowledges that both knees need replacing.  That the right knee is in far worse shape than the left.  That it is time.

BUT:

He won’t do them both at the same time.  I could not believe it when I heard it.  I was quite deflated and sad and of course, asked him why.  The reason is logical and it makes sense to us.  He said that he never does a double knee replacement on a person as young as I am who is in the health that I am in.  (Which is actually “good” — health, that is. . .)

“Older people have less ‘pain fibers’ and their muscles are not as strong or as resistant,” he explained.   “When a person who is as young as you does both knees at once, the result is never satisfactory.  We have found that there is no way to accomplish satisfactory rehabilitation, and you would end up with two stiff knees and that is what you already have — and what we want to get rid of.  We want fully functional knees when we are done with this surgery.  It is a hard haul for someone who is in your condition.  Our older patients come in, they get their knees replaced, they go to rehab and they are doing good in a few weeks.  It typically takes our younger people longer to rehabilitate — like three months– because they face more physical obstacles along the way.”  His voice softened and his eyes were kind.  “It isn’t easy.  You know that, don’t you?  You are in for a tough, difficult time.”

I wondered how he would choose which knee to do first.  He didn’t even ask me what I wanted.  “We are going to do the left knee,” he said.  “It is the better of the two, but it is hurting and I think we should get it done and that will give us a better situation for doing the one which will need more work.  The thing is we ARE going to do surgery.  My nurse will come in and we will nail down a date.” 

And so that is how my plans to have both of them done and get it over with went down the tube.  He doesn’t even have a slot for surgery until the 14th of December.  But guess what?  All of a sudden, it all seems to be for the best.  I don’t look forward to the next three months, but it will give me all sorts of opportunity to do some of the holiday things, get ready for Christmas, and ready my heart and my mind and even my body for surgery.  He is adamant that I need physical therapy three times a week for four or five weeks before surgery.  I suppose it means that Daniel and I won’t be doing the hiking next summer that I have been looking forward to, that there will be two recoveries instead of just one, and that I am going to just have to readjust my thinking, but our nurse daughter is greatly relieved. 

Today she said, “Mama, I didn’t really want to make too big a deal of it, but my one nursing instructor said that the only person she ever knew who died of a blood clot after a surgery was someone who had a double knee replacement.  I’ve been worried ever since you said that is what you were going to do, so this is a BIG relief to me.”

And so, once again what it really boils down to is that we are at least on our way to doing SOMETHING.  And I can trust the Heavenly Father to know what is best, and to do what is best. 

And I am quite content.

 

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My friend, Dave Hertzler, says that he isn’t sure that this is a fern.
Does anybody know what this plant is?
I’ve always called it an “Asparagus Fern” but I would like to know the real name.  It did grow these little flowers just this week:

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There is just one little area that has them.

It gets very prickly when it dries out a little and sheds its little prickles all over the place.  I kept it over the winter, and cut it way back this spring.  I decided that if it lived over the summer without much attention, I might bring it back in this fall.  So, it did get fertilizer one time and I water it now and then.  But not often.

What can anyone tell me???

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Come for a visit to the yard at Shady Acres!

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The back yard. 
Certain Man has a leak in his roof above the deck
He has plans to repair it and change some things.
Stay tuned for progress reports. 

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One of the shrubs in the back yard is this Rose of Sharon

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Another shrub is a snowball bush

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My Asparagus fern is Blooming!
I didn’t know they did that!

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My favorite container garden

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A coleus bloom from my favorite container garden

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A “whirlygig” flower from the same container

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Another container of which I am fond

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The blue Salvia are blooming

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More of the same


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A small pot into which I tucked some leftover Verbena

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Purple Verbena

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This is a very old container, and the flowers looked better earlier in the year
(even with a recent application of Miracle Gro)


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One of my fuschia flowers

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New Guinea Impatiens

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More New Guinea Impatiens

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Another container that has cockscomb, sweet potato vines and two colors of verbena

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The two colors of Verbena

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Last year, for Lem and Jessica’s wedding, I had lots of coral Verbena.
This is the only plant this year, but it is sturdily coming along.

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Vinca in a hanging pot

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Phlox in the side garden

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Some more Vinca by the walkway,

 

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My Friend, Ada, gave me this cheery, sturdy plant.

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It has bloomed its heart out for me.

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The oldest planter of all

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My sister, Sarah, gave this little statue to me several years ago

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These don’t look like much, but I am so pleased with them.
I got a whole lot of baskets of Vinca for three dollars each, and these two
looked so yellow and spindly when I got them, but they have filled out, gotten green
and are just plain nice to have!

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Another of my baskets.  This one is lopsided because
the other night when the youth group wanted to make ice cream,
I caught some of the Coleus with the hose and broke it off.
I was disappointed, but not devasted.

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I have another small pot that is one of my favorite, too.
It has this yellow cockscomb tucked into the back of it

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Then it has this begonia in it too, that is the main focus.

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It sits here on my old church bench and garners its share of comments.
I love this old yellow watering can.

Thanks for stopping by!
Come again –in person the next time.

 

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My Sweet Mama’s Family got together, those of us who could make it, for a family reunion on Saturday.  We had a splendid time!  I took alot of pictures, and if you want to see them, just go to my photos, look for “Albums, and find “Wert Reunion” and you will find them there.

In other news, Nettie had surgery today to repair a compression fracture on her T12 vertebra.  She got along really well, and Dr, Rowe says that she can probably come home tomorrow.  The house is strangely quiet without her.  Except that Cecilia is in her bed, giggling like a hyena!  I guess she thinks it is funny to be in her room all by herself.

A week from tomorrow, I see the orthopaedic surgeon, and hopefully we will get a more definite date as to when they will do surgery on these knees.  In other news, Cythia Abraham, a dear friend from New York City is fighting what appears to be a losing battle with cancer.  Her husband passed away shortly before Daddy did, and left her with four young daughters.  I don’t know what the girls will ever do without her.  She is an incredible Christian, and she brings peace wherever she goes. It is hard for me to think of the church in New York city without the steady, faithful, full of joy Cythia, and my heart is so sad for her tightly knit circle of friends and her lovely daughters.  This is certainly one of those times when there is no “right” answers.  Except that Cythia reminds us over and over again that God does what is best, and that she intends to trust Him.  And so, in part to honor her unfailing example, I purpose that I will, too.

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My Auntie Rach is getting even for all the times
Mommy put her hair in tiny little rubber bands.
Today was initiation day.
Mommy and Granny and Auntie Rach were laughing so hard they were crying.
Nevie was MAD.
He felt very sorry for me.
“I am not even going to laugh.
It STINKS!!!
It is NOT funny!
I am going to bring her some toys to play with because she doesn’t like it!”
And so he did.

Charis and Rachel
Auntie Rach was the one who did it!
She was very pleased with herself.

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Nettie came home with her red hat today.
I am not at all bothered by things on my head.
And so, here I am sitting on Nettie’s bed,
The youngest member of the red hat society ever!

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So often I come to you with things to pray about — and this is no exception.  Saturday evening, my cousin’s son and his wife, Donovan and JulieBeth Witmer, flew to Ethiopia to retrieve their precious baby daughter, Noemi.  They have waited a long time for this adoption to be finalized, and they, with eleven other families arrived in Addis Ababa yesterday with much anticipation of a week filled with spending time with their babies, seeing and experiencing the culture of their new family members and bonding with the babies.

Sadly enough, Donovan and JulieBeth’s Noemi was very, very ill.  She had to be put into isolation because of a rash, and she has ear infections, congestion, and diarrhea.  They are, of course dealing with international doctors and they hope to find a “quick resolution” to the problems, but the time in Ethiopia is a whole lot different than what they had anticipated.  And there is much cause for concern with the baby’s health and being able to take her out of the country.  They have loved this baby for a long time, and this is the one that they have prayed for, dreamed about and desperately want to have as their own.  This family is in need of your prayers.

If you would like to read the story that leads up to their departure on Saturday you can find it at:

http://robertswitmer.blogspot.com  

Thanks!

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Earlier this week, when the family of Eldest Son’s Ohio Heart Throb, (whom we know as Regina, as well as Eldest Son’s Wife) was coming for supper, I took a look at my garage and the pavilion and decided I needed some assistance. 

So, I called for Hortencia, my beloved neighbor, and also our renter, to see if she wanted to clean for me for a few hours.  With Friend Karen’s great help in communication (Hortencia speaks almost no English and I speak almost no Spanish) we got the arrangements all worked out.  Hortencia came and got an early start, and was making great progress.  I saw her out there, slaving away, so I went out for a little while to try to talk to her a little.  The heat was oppressive, and she was sweating profusely as she worked.  She returned my greeting, but she seemed unusually sad.

“I talked to Lupe!” I venture, hopefully.

She understood, “Si,” she says proudly, and smiles broadly.

“She was doing so much better than the last time I talked to her.” I add, a little more boldly.  “It makes me so glad.” (I smile and hug myself to show that I am so very pleased.)

She pauses, and turns her head away.  I am startled to see that she is crying.  She purses her lips and tries to keep the tears from falling.  “Baby is sick.” she says, and begins to sweep furiously.

I knew that Lupe’s baby was sick, but she has been taking her to the best doctor, and it appeared to me that things were doing okay — But I thought maybe I was missing something.

“Hortencia, are you okay?”  She either didn’t understand or chose not to respond.  She resolutely turned her back and began to sweep.  And I needed to get into the house, so I came back into the cool of my air conditioned home while she swept in the heat.  And of course, I’ve been pondering muchly. 

Hortencia is about my age.  Her husband and I are actually almost twins.  When I consider how diverse our lives are beyond the point of being moms and grandmoms and women of about the same age, it feels like I’ve been plunged into a stifling room as hot as the outdoors where she was working that morning.  I know that she has had very random work.  Both of their wage earning children have left and it is just her and her husband in the trailer.  Money is tight.

I asked her, then, if she could stay a little longer and work inside.  I hoped that she could cool off, and that I could justify paying her a little more.  She and her funny little husband have lived in the trailer in our side yard for close to fifteen years.  They don’t pay a lot of rent, and we have always mowed the yard, provided the fuel oil, paid for trash pick up and supplied their trailer with water from our farm’s deep, sweet well.  When the oil prices went up, we asked if they could begin paying for their own fuel oil.  We can get it cheaper than they can, so we always have it put on our bill, and the plan was that they would pay us. 

There is something that I need to say about our tenants.  They have been the best renters we have ever had, and they take care of the place and they have been conscientious about not having raucous and unmanageable parties.  Hortencia’s husband has even stopped drinking and become a sober and hard working man because they are concerned that we might throw them out if he starts to get drunk.  I understand from the stories of their children that he is a most unpleasant drunk, so we have been grateful that, for whatever reason, he has decided to stay away from the alcohol that has been the ruin of so many of our Hispanic friends.  And they always pay their rent.  And usually, on time.

That being said, they have not paid for their fuel oil.  And the communication issue is, of course, a problem, but when the total was over $800.00, Certain Man was not quite so mindful of their good points. 

“Hon, you’ve got to do something,” he would intone at regular intervals.  “At $400.00 a month rent, you are paying them to live in our trailer.  I understand that it is hard for you, but you are too soft hearted.  You need to make them pay.  How do you ever expect to get ahead if you don’t make them pay for their fuel oil?”  I had heard his arguments over and over again, and I honestly did agree with him, but when I knew the dynamics of their lives, and thought about all the trouble that owned them, I couldn’t bear to be too hard on them.  Then I thought that maybe now and then Hortencia could do some cleaning for me, and I would just deduct it from the fuel oil bill.  That worked once.  And then, she needed some of the money for something or other, and asked through friend Karen if I could give her “half” and take the other out of the oil.  And so, that is how we have done it now for three times – but the trouble is that when it comes time to pay, and I see how hard she has worked, I feel so sorry for her, that I usually pay her what I would plan to give her for the work she does, and then I credit her an equal amount on her fuel bill.

Okay.  Right about now, I can hear the outcry.  I know that it isn’t my job to make up for all the things that aren’t right in our economy.  And I know that the immigration business is a sordid and complicated affair.  And I know that there are people out there right now that are askance with the thought that I am such a push over.  I know just as assuredly that there are those of you out there who understand exactly how I feel.

I’ve been given so much.  I have the freedom to come and go as I please.  Yes, there is the terrible problem of illegal immigration, but there is also the thing that we didn’t choose to be born where we were, and we didn’t choose to have the lines fall to us in such pleasant places.  I will own that Certain Man and I have made decisions over the years that have brought us much blessing, but for every decision that we have made, there were a thousand other decisions made for us that are also blessing us far beyond what we deserve.

And when I look at my neighbor, and I think of all that she has borne in her life, and especially when I consider what she has to look forward to in the future, I am overwhelmed by sadness.  I think about her concern for her far away girlie, Lupe, and the grandbaby in a land where babies die so often that the first birthdays are celebrated elaborately just because the baby is still alive.  I think about her son, so full of promise and character, now back in Mexico with a pregnant girlfriend, and so little future.  And I think of her two other daughters that are stateside – neither in situations that would comfort a mama’s heart.  I think about her longing to return to the land of her birth, Mexico.  She works so hard, and she settles for so little because she feels she has no right to ask for more.  I sometimes think that her mind may not be as quick as some, but the poverty that she was born into and the abuse she has suffered over the years certainly has contributed to her limitations.  And whether she can think as quickly as some or not, she still has deep, deep feelings and her capacity for love is immense.

I wish so much that I could just sit down and have a heart to heart talk with her.  I have so many things that I would like to know about her, and I long to look into her heart.  And I understand that the time grows short.  Just this week, I was told that she and her husband are saving up to buy a pickup to return to Mexico.  They have considered returning for years, and always something comes up to make them stay.  This time, I have a feeling in my bones about it, and I expect that one day, maybe without warning, they will pack up and go.

And when I stand before my Heavenly Father some day to give account of the deeds done in the flesh, I pray that this is one situation that will have been acceptable in His eyes.  I don’t really care if it makes me money.  I don’t care if people understand.  I don’t care if we are thought pushovers or bad business operators — in this particular matter, that is.

But I do want my Heavenly Father to say that I treated the alien in the land with kindness and respect.  That I went out of my way to help where I could.  And that I practiced the Golden Rule, and “did unto others as I would have them do unto me” regardless or ethnic origin, social standing or mental capacity. 

And I believe it is safe to trust Him.  Even when it comes to $800.00 worth of fuel oil for which we may never be paid.

 

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An evening with friends

We had a great time last evening with (Daughter in Law) Regina’s family.  This is the week that Andy and Saloma Yoder’s entire family came to DE to the beach, and Raph and Gina thought it would be nice to get together.  We thought so, too, and so did the fine folk of Gina’s extended family.  There was some discussion as to where — but I asked Gina if we could please have it here, since with my ladies and my knees, it is really hard for me to go anywhere for very long.  What a splendid time we did have!  And yes, this entire family has been together at the beach since last Saturday.  It sounds like a grand time to me.  (Even made me wonder if Certain Man and his family could accomplish such a feat.  Oh!  That sounds wonderful!!!  We had so much fun when we went to Gatlinburg several years ago!) 

And Yes, last night, I did take pictures!

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Our daughter in law, Gina,
And her sister, Marilyn.
(There was LOTS of sun this week!)

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This is Gina’s brother, Fred, Her Mom, Saloma,
And Fred’s baby daughter, Raelynn.
The one person I didn’t get a picture of
Was Fred’s lovely wife, Jen.

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Ruth, Sunburned but lovely as ever, is one of the best Mommies I’ve ever seen –and is also Gina’s oldest sister.
Here she is with Ava and Lilli.

 

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Lilli was enthralled with the
family rocking horse.  This little
horse, made by
Suzyquekau‘s Grandpa Milton Beachy.
It needs some repair, but someone
as little as Little Lilli Troyer
can ride it just fine.

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Uncle Raph has a good time with the nieces that he
acquired by marriage.  This is Annie.

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This is Ava, and it is interesting to me how comfortable the girlies are around men.  I believe it is because they have one of the best daddies in the world. 

 

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Besides this one, of course, and our Beloved Son-in-Law.

Don’t you know, we have to churn ice cream whenever there is a cookout at Shady Acres.  But frankly, it was too hot to do it outside.  So, Certain Man came up with a plan to do it inside.  In the laundry room.  Inside a plastic foot tub. 

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Surprisingly, it worked very well.   There were enough masculine arms to get the job done, and plenty of young, female admirers to cheer them on.

 

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Here, our Beloved Son in Law holds down the freezer while Gina’s Daddy, Andy, takes his turn at churning. 

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I wish you could see Beloved Son in Law’s hand.  He had been holding the freezer down with his hand until Certain Man got him a blanket to put on top of the freezer and sit on.  Imprinted in his hand from where he had been holding it down was “White Mountain Freezer” (except it was in reverse, of course).  As you can tell, he was closely examining the damages while Ruth’s husband, Conrad, (daddy to Annie, Ava and Lilli) takes a turn at the crank as well.

The evening was just plain fun!  We enjoyed it very much.  The young people played “corn hole” for a while, and then the family piled into their two vans and headed back to Rehoboth. 

Good friends, good times, good memories.

Thank-you, dear friends for spending the evening with us. 

 

 

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Summer days

I thought you all might enjoy some pictures from the last few days.

For starters, Youngest Daughter, decided that the toy box was in desperate need of her organizing, cleaning, and discarding ministrations.

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When Certain Man made this years ago, it was intended for a wood box so it is very large and very deep.  Somehow, there came a time when we needed it far more desperately as a toy box, and it got pressed into service.  The only way to really get to the bottom of it is to get into it.

 

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“This job is really discouraging, Mom.  I’m going to be at this forever!”

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“What are these things and WHY do we keep them?  Well, this gal is getting rid of them!”  (As well as lots of other things.  CMW went away so she could keep from interfering.)

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Charis got her first taste of fresh peaches this week.  Eldest Daughter and Beloved Son in Law have gotten her this nifty mesh bag that you can put fruit into, and then the baby can suck on it and not get any particles into their mouths.  It is so interesting to me.  Charis is rather unimpressed with sweet things, but loves fruit.

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This is Chris’s little “friend” who comes to sit on the kitchen floor and “play” with Charis while the Mommies can tomatoes or make whoopie pies for the Charis Fund, or whatever.  She is a precious little girlie, and we hope that she and Charis really will be friends some day.

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Uncle Raph stopped by for lunch on this particular day, and none of the guys can resist this smiley, happy baby.  It does wonders to a day to stop and chat for a minute with this little bundle of miracle.

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Last night (Friday) Jesse and Christina went out and left Charis at our house.  She was lonesome for her Mama and Daddy, and so Rach took her out for a ride in the red wagon.  She acted like she wished it would go faster.

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Auntie Rach provided the manpower.

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“Here, Love Bug, let’s cover up your little legs so you don’t get too cold!”

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“I think I could get used to this kind of transportation!”

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“Let’s see what kind of mischief we can get into together, you and I, Love Bug!”

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Wow!  Those big brown eyes! 

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Uncle Lem and Auntie Jessica came last night, and Lem got his “Charis fix” for the next little while.  Philadelphia doesn’t seem so far away, but it is too far to just drop in any old time, so we cherish these times together.

Rachel had some friends over for the night on Thursday night, and they kinda feel like family, and we had a great time together.  Finally, even they were tired.

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Much friendly sparring went on, and I hope they weren’t too mad at either each other (or the rest of us) before the night was over.  We enjoy them so much.

 

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I honestly don’t know what was so funny.
I honestly don’t WANT to know what was so funny.
All, Trisha-girl.  You are a funny girlie.
And Hannah, I love this picture of you. 

For more pictures, go to my photoblog.  There are quite a few more, there.

 

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