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I talked to my cousin today.  She and I are a week apart in age.
Our Daddies were twins.  I am so at peace in her presence, and
when we talk on the phone, her voice wraps itself around my heart
and it is so good.

Last summer, we had a family reunion. 
Her Dad, my Uncle Luke, was not feeling well, and when
everything was said and done, only she and her husband
were able to be there from their family.  When it came time
to take family pictures, we wanted her and her husband to be
with our family.  There were lots of people missing from our
family, too, so this was the sum total of the families of the
twins of David and Savilla (Bender) Yoder
who were available for pictures that day.

Her Daddy is growing weaker.  As a family, we pray and write
and, whenever possible, visit.  Cousins have come from all over
to savor the essence that is our Uncle Luke.  He delights in
every visit.  Rallies to relate, and draws energy from the love
that has been pouring in, and strength from the prayers.

“Make it a good day,” he would always end his missives to the
Yoder Family e-mail group.  He has been unable to write for
over a month, now.  But over and over again, his words are found
at the end of our messages to each other.  And we are so
encouraged by the stories coming out of a Michigan Nursing Home.
Stories of dealing with the everyday things that life is made of —
surrender, praise, joy —  but always the leering face of Lou Gehrig. 

Our hearts strain for words of hope from the family that so
tenderly care for him with a commitment that causes all of us
to ache with hope that someday, for us, there will be a family
that cares like they do.  We pray for strength, we pray for patience.
We pray for the everlasting arms to carry them through these days.
We pray that our Heavenly Father will have mercy and that the
overriding presence in the attractive little suite will be that of peace.

This case of ALS has been insiduous.
It has tromped and smashed and snatched and cursed.
And it has tried to destroy the very Faith that is the lifeline.
I am so thankful for a Faith that can be in the middle of all
that is tromped and smashed and snatched and cursed —
and still hold steady. 
I am so thankful that it resides, not only in that brave, brave heart
of a most beloved uncle, but also in the hands and hearts of his family.

Today I heard the tears, felt the uncertainties and pain.
And sorrow wrenched somewhere in my gut with a familiar, nauseating twist.
It is not at all the way they (or we) would have chosen for things to go.
But things are the way they are, and the platitudes that get thrown around
at a time like this are made real by times like these. 
And Truth is  sometimes defined through experiencing the
inexplicable mystery of Faith. 

No, I cannot explain it.
 
I only know that it is where my restless heart can find a place of quiet.

Valentines Day has always been special
for Certain Man and Me.
We had our first date on
Valentines day, back in 1971. 

After we were married,
he began to make sure to bring home
flowers for special occasions.

We were poor,
So he bought carnations. 
It was what he could afford.

I would rather have carnations
than anything else,
and that is what he still brings me.

This is this year’s bouquet.

After almost a week, it still looks great!

Thank-you, Sweetheart!!!

  In answer to the questions concerning the baby that is coming to our family.  We do not know whether it is a boy or a girl.  The adoption agency does not know, either, at this point.  The due date is the 25th.  Beyond that, there is a whole lot to guess about, speculate about, REJOICE about.  It is such an exciting time for the two extended families.  A baby shower is being planned, tentatively for March 6th, in the evening, but details of that are still being formulated.  They really have only the basics, and it is beyond exciting to them to think about setting up the nursery and getting things ready.  Please continue to pray for them and this happy but challenging time.  Life will certainly be different for them and for all of us, for that matter.

About the knee.  When I saw the Physician’s Assistant last week, he said that the MRI showed a complete tear in the meniscus, and that the only solution to this kind of tear was to clean things out and see from there how it recovered.  He scheduled me with the surgeon, and I saw him today.   Dr. Spieker came in and put the original X-rays of my knees on the lighted panel and said, “Henry (the P.A.) tells me you’re having some trouble.”

“To tell you the truth,” I said a bit ruefully, “I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.”

“You absolutely are,” he said sympathetically.  “There is absolutely nothing we can do for that right knee except a replacement.”  He motioned towards the joint.  “As you can see here, it is even off center, bone on bone, with not cartilage of any kind left.”  My mind started thinking, then, about my other knee and what he was going to do about that, when I heard him say, “We cannot do arthroscopy on it.  It won’t do a bit of good.  Replacement is our only method of treatment, and you aren’t a candidate for that.”  My heart had done a little flip flop right about when he said, . . .It won’t do a bit of good . . . and I started scrambling in my mind what they were ever going to do.  About then, he said, “Now your left knee . . .” and I could breathe again.  I had changed gears, er, knees, and he hadn’t!  Anyhow, so the plan is to see if we can “clean up” the left knee, and see how things go.  There is a chance that they will follow up with SYNVISC injections if the recovery isn’t quite what they hope, but even that may not be necessary.

Surgery is scheduled for the 26th (I know, the day after Jesse’s and Christina’s baby is due  –  At least I can sit and hold baby!)  and it will be done on an outpatient basis at the surgical suite that is maintained by these orthopedic surgeons.  I won’t even have to be admitted to the hospital.  And I know that it isn’t a cure-all.  And probably there will be people coming out of the woodwork telling me not to have it, but Cerain Man had it done over 20 years ago (before all the advances that have been made)  in both knees and it made a wondrous difference for him.  The thing I most would like to be able to do is alleviate some of the pain.  It has really been troubling me — I have a high pain tolerance, so that I don’t usually feel pain unless it is really bad, so the fact that this is really hurting has made me want to get something done — and it has also made me realize that having a high pain tolerance does not mean that you are stoic about pain!  It just means you don’t feel it.  And I guess that I am one that when I do feel it, I am not stoic at all!  (Does that make any sense?)  What I am trying to say is that I am not necessarily brave about this present complication in my life.  In the past, I felt really strong and brave when I could keep going when things hurt a little bit.  All I want to do now is sit on my chair.  Even the computer is annoying because the desk chair that I sit on doesn’t hold the leg right to keep the knee from going into some sort of spasms. 

So there, you have my joys and my gripes.  We do plan to go to wedding this weekend. — just my Sweet Mama, Certain Man and Myself, and I am looking forward to that.  I am afraid that I will make a spectacle of myself at the wedding.  It looks kinda like Hopalong Cassidy when I start walking after sitting a while. The sad thing is, my bad leg is not accustomed to being the strong one, and it has taken to complaining vociferously as well.  So whenever I decide to get up and walk somewhere, it is hop a little, drag the leg, swing the other, hop a little, drag the leg, lock the knee, swing the leg, hop a little — well, anyhow, I don’t think you need a video to get the picture.

So here’s to hope and new babies and good doctors and gimpy knees  —  God Bless us everyone!

Do any of you remember this post from almost exactly three years ago?

I’m posting it because the very same thing happened today to the very same person,

And the results have been just as encouraging!

In fact, the doctors say that this surgery went even better than the last.

Lynn came out of surgery, and a message soon after 1:00 said that she was alert and doing very well.

Praise God with us!

Please pray for my friend, Lynn.
Courageous, beautiful, serene.
Smiley, joyful, realistic.
So different from me,
but we have the same Heavenly Father.
And both of our earthly Daddies
are recently home to Heaven.
So much alike, too.
We both love words and laughter and friends.
We both love our homes and our families.
I love Lem and Jess.
She loves Jess and Lem.
She prays for her daughter and my son.
I pray for my son and her daughter.

Today, Dear Friend, you face an incomprehensible challenge.
And my prayers can scarcely think of anything else
besides an operating room at Johns Hopkins,
And what is happening there.

Lord Jesus, in your Holy Name I pray
For an incredible anointing of power and healing.
Guide the hands and thoughts of those who are operating or assisting.
Hold Lynn’s family in the calm of your grace.
May your eye that sees the sparrows keep watchful care of Lynn.
May the evidence of YOU be so inescapable
That no one, NO ONE can ever say
that it was anything but you!

This picture of Lynn and I was taken at Lem and Jessica’s wedding.

Dear Friend, may your recovery

be

speedy and uneventful!!!

It’s a bit unofficial, but I am a grandma!

And I will update when I know more!

Yesterday a beloved neighbor slipped away.  She had been my neighbor for almost 20 years. 

If only we could get people to seek The Healer of Broken Lives with the same confidence that they go to the healers of broken bodies.
 

Certain Man’s Wife took her poor left knee to the doctor yesterday.  They X-rayed both knees “for comparison.”

“Which knee did you say was hurting?” asked the puzzled technician.

“It’s my left,” said CMW, cheerfully.  “It’s actually what I call my good knee.  Usually it’s my other knee that is giving me trouble, but whatever happened on Saturday night happened to my left knee.  And it really hurt!”

“H-m-m-m-m-m.” said the tech, “I would certainly think it would be the right one.”

CMW pondered the fact that she might not look smart enough to tell her left from her right, but she actually can remember which hand she eats with and yes, checking it out, it was the left knee that was hurting.

Back in the examination room, the PA looked over the X-rays and did a thorough examination.  “Well, he said, “I can’t really tell what is wrong here, but I am inclined to think it is a meniscus tear under the knee cap.   And,” he added kindly, “this knee is is far better shape than the other knee.  It is stable, it has range of motion and it is just a far better knee than the other one.  I know it is hurting you, but the general condition of the knee is far better.”

CMW looked at the X-rays of the two knees, side by side on the lighted window and felt her heart sink down somewhere near to where the knees were located on her body.  The right one really does look pretty bad.  It is bone on bone, off set by a half an inch, has a spur sticking out the side, and a white collar of something or other that is tracing its way through the joint.  The strange thing is, that though it is sometimes stiff, and sometimes doesn’t want to work quite right, it really doesn’t hurt.  There have been a few times when she has had a cortisone shot in it when it was hurting, and it seemed to do better, and so, even though she realizes since the left knee has begun to give her trouble, that she favors the right a great deal, it hasn’t been a defining condition of her life.

Last night, after the left knee did another painful turn, and didn’t want to settle down, CMW lay wakeful in the dark and thought about all the stuff that this could mean.  If this left knee doesn’t settle down with the shot it got yesterday — If the MRI shows something serious —  if the right knee doesn’t hold up under the added strain of the good knee being out of sorts — IF  — IF — IF —  It was a good time to pray, she decided.  And so, until the Vicodin did its work, the prayers stayed to the anxious thoughts and calmed her uncertainties.

And then she read in God’s word this morning that He cares for her.  That He has the storm and the waves and the unknowns in His hands.  That He uses the things that seem like such a mistake or such a misfortune for good, and it is not up to the humans to decide what that good is going to be.

And so, today she is hobbling around — carefully.  If she had been more careful last night, the knee probably wouldn’t have twisted again.  Cecilia is home with a stomach virus.  Certain Man is home, working on remolding Youngest Daughter’s bedroom, and there are many things to take the attention of Certain Man’s wife.  Which is what she is going to go do now — dishes, putting away manger scenes, and hopefully doing some sitting down to the paperwork that has stacked up.

Which is another thing.  Do any of you ladies find that when you really have a reason to sit and do things like paperwork, or correspondence or such that you always see the things that NEED to be done that prevent you from doing the very things that would be best for you to do and need to be done anyhow?   My kids think I am crazy, but it is very hard to do sit down work when there is housework that needs to be done.  And today is no exception.  I need to get some things done so I can sit down in peace and CONCENTRATE!

Blessings, dear friends.  Could you say a prayer for this bum knee?   THANKS.