Delaware Grammy

Tomorrow is the day that I am to have this troublesome left
knee “cleaned out, smoothed down and made better”
according to the good doctor.  I am eagerly looking forward
to the third part of that proclamation.  Today I feel a bit
overwhelmed — teary, in fact.  There is potato salad to make
for the quiz team concession stand, some bills to pay before
the end of the month, and the nagging, restricting pain that
makes me want to sit on my chair and do nothing.


I don’t really think that would be the best for me, either in
terms of keeping my range of motion as good as it can be, and
my emotional well-being, either.  I am realizing in a new way
how pain isolates people.  It isn’t so much that people stay
away from people in pain as it is that there is this turning
inward, sort of a protective shell that we throw up around us
that almost defies people to step across the boundary. 


I haven’t allowed myself the indulgence of feeling sorry for
myself.  It is a proven fact that it doesn’t make people
attractive!  It’s also a proven fact that positive thinking
helps alleviate pain.  I’ve been trying hard to put flesh to the
theory, and for the most part it has been good.  This
morning, it is just taking alot more effort than some times. 
It’s a good time to put into practice some of the principles
that I have proclaimed to live by.  This is one that is on my
fridge that is especially pertinent this morning:

“When cheerfulness is kept up against all
odds, it is the finest form of courage.”

So I am going to go and attempt, with the help of Almighty
God, to exhibit the finest form of courage.

I talked to my cousin today.  She and I are a week apart in age.
Our Daddies were twins.  I am so at peace in her presence, and
when we talk on the phone, her voice wraps itself around my heart
and it is so good.

Last summer, we had a family reunion. 
Her Dad, my Uncle Luke, was not feeling well, and when
everything was said and done, only she and her husband
were able to be there from their family.  When it came time
to take family pictures, we wanted her and her husband to be
with our family.  There were lots of people missing from our
family, too, so this was the sum total of the families of the
twins of David and Savilla (Bender) Yoder
who were available for pictures that day.

Her Daddy is growing weaker.  As a family, we pray and write
and, whenever possible, visit.  Cousins have come from all over
to savor the essence that is our Uncle Luke.  He delights in
every visit.  Rallies to relate, and draws energy from the love
that has been pouring in, and strength from the prayers.

“Make it a good day,” he would always end his missives to the
Yoder Family e-mail group.  He has been unable to write for
over a month, now.  But over and over again, his words are found
at the end of our messages to each other.  And we are so
encouraged by the stories coming out of a Michigan Nursing Home.
Stories of dealing with the everyday things that life is made of —
surrender, praise, joy —  but always the leering face of Lou Gehrig. 

Our hearts strain for words of hope from the family that so
tenderly care for him with a commitment that causes all of us
to ache with hope that someday, for us, there will be a family
that cares like they do.  We pray for strength, we pray for patience.
We pray for the everlasting arms to carry them through these days.
We pray that our Heavenly Father will have mercy and that the
overriding presence in the attractive little suite will be that of peace.

This case of ALS has been insiduous.
It has tromped and smashed and snatched and cursed.
And it has tried to destroy the very Faith that is the lifeline.
I am so thankful for a Faith that can be in the middle of all
that is tromped and smashed and snatched and cursed —
and still hold steady. 
I am so thankful that it resides, not only in that brave, brave heart
of a most beloved uncle, but also in the hands and hearts of his family.

Today I heard the tears, felt the uncertainties and pain.
And sorrow wrenched somewhere in my gut with a familiar, nauseating twist.
It is not at all the way they (or we) would have chosen for things to go.
But things are the way they are, and the platitudes that get thrown around
at a time like this are made real by times like these. 
And Truth is  sometimes defined through experiencing the
inexplicable mystery of Faith. 

No, I cannot explain it.
 
I only know that it is where my restless heart can find a place of quiet.

Valentines Day has always been special
for Certain Man and Me.
We had our first date on
Valentines day, back in 1971. 

After we were married,
he began to make sure to bring home
flowers for special occasions.

We were poor,
So he bought carnations. 
It was what he could afford.

I would rather have carnations
than anything else,
and that is what he still brings me.

This is this year’s bouquet.

After almost a week, it still looks great!

Thank-you, Sweetheart!!!

  In answer to the questions concerning the baby that is coming to our family.  We do not know whether it is a boy or a girl.  The adoption agency does not know, either, at this point.  The due date is the 25th.  Beyond that, there is a whole lot to guess about, speculate about, REJOICE about.  It is such an exciting time for the two extended families.  A baby shower is being planned, tentatively for March 6th, in the evening, but details of that are still being formulated.  They really have only the basics, and it is beyond exciting to them to think about setting up the nursery and getting things ready.  Please continue to pray for them and this happy but challenging time.  Life will certainly be different for them and for all of us, for that matter.

About the knee.  When I saw the Physician’s Assistant last week, he said that the MRI showed a complete tear in the meniscus, and that the only solution to this kind of tear was to clean things out and see from there how it recovered.  He scheduled me with the surgeon, and I saw him today.   Dr. Spieker came in and put the original X-rays of my knees on the lighted panel and said, “Henry (the P.A.) tells me you’re having some trouble.”

“To tell you the truth,” I said a bit ruefully, “I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.”

“You absolutely are,” he said sympathetically.  “There is absolutely nothing we can do for that right knee except a replacement.”  He motioned towards the joint.  “As you can see here, it is even off center, bone on bone, with not cartilage of any kind left.”  My mind started thinking, then, about my other knee and what he was going to do about that, when I heard him say, “We cannot do arthroscopy on it.  It won’t do a bit of good.  Replacement is our only method of treatment, and you aren’t a candidate for that.”  My heart had done a little flip flop right about when he said, . . .It won’t do a bit of good . . . and I started scrambling in my mind what they were ever going to do.  About then, he said, “Now your left knee . . .” and I could breathe again.  I had changed gears, er, knees, and he hadn’t!  Anyhow, so the plan is to see if we can “clean up” the left knee, and see how things go.  There is a chance that they will follow up with SYNVISC injections if the recovery isn’t quite what they hope, but even that may not be necessary.

Surgery is scheduled for the 26th (I know, the day after Jesse’s and Christina’s baby is due  –  At least I can sit and hold baby!)  and it will be done on an outpatient basis at the surgical suite that is maintained by these orthopedic surgeons.  I won’t even have to be admitted to the hospital.  And I know that it isn’t a cure-all.  And probably there will be people coming out of the woodwork telling me not to have it, but Cerain Man had it done over 20 years ago (before all the advances that have been made)  in both knees and it made a wondrous difference for him.  The thing I most would like to be able to do is alleviate some of the pain.  It has really been troubling me — I have a high pain tolerance, so that I don’t usually feel pain unless it is really bad, so the fact that this is really hurting has made me want to get something done — and it has also made me realize that having a high pain tolerance does not mean that you are stoic about pain!  It just means you don’t feel it.  And I guess that I am one that when I do feel it, I am not stoic at all!  (Does that make any sense?)  What I am trying to say is that I am not necessarily brave about this present complication in my life.  In the past, I felt really strong and brave when I could keep going when things hurt a little bit.  All I want to do now is sit on my chair.  Even the computer is annoying because the desk chair that I sit on doesn’t hold the leg right to keep the knee from going into some sort of spasms. 

So there, you have my joys and my gripes.  We do plan to go to wedding this weekend. — just my Sweet Mama, Certain Man and Myself, and I am looking forward to that.  I am afraid that I will make a spectacle of myself at the wedding.  It looks kinda like Hopalong Cassidy when I start walking after sitting a while. The sad thing is, my bad leg is not accustomed to being the strong one, and it has taken to complaining vociferously as well.  So whenever I decide to get up and walk somewhere, it is hop a little, drag the leg, swing the other, hop a little, drag the leg, lock the knee, swing the leg, hop a little — well, anyhow, I don’t think you need a video to get the picture.

So here’s to hope and new babies and good doctors and gimpy knees  —  God Bless us everyone!

Do any of you remember this post from almost exactly three years ago?

I’m posting it because the very same thing happened today to the very same person,

And the results have been just as encouraging!

In fact, the doctors say that this surgery went even better than the last.

Lynn came out of surgery, and a message soon after 1:00 said that she was alert and doing very well.

Praise God with us!

Please pray for my friend, Lynn.
Courageous, beautiful, serene.
Smiley, joyful, realistic.
So different from me,
but we have the same Heavenly Father.
And both of our earthly Daddies
are recently home to Heaven.
So much alike, too.
We both love words and laughter and friends.
We both love our homes and our families.
I love Lem and Jess.
She loves Jess and Lem.
She prays for her daughter and my son.
I pray for my son and her daughter.

Today, Dear Friend, you face an incomprehensible challenge.
And my prayers can scarcely think of anything else
besides an operating room at Johns Hopkins,
And what is happening there.

Lord Jesus, in your Holy Name I pray
For an incredible anointing of power and healing.
Guide the hands and thoughts of those who are operating or assisting.
Hold Lynn’s family in the calm of your grace.
May your eye that sees the sparrows keep watchful care of Lynn.
May the evidence of YOU be so inescapable
That no one, NO ONE can ever say
that it was anything but you!

This picture of Lynn and I was taken at Lem and Jessica’s wedding.

Dear Friend, may your recovery

be

speedy and uneventful!!!

It’s a bit unofficial, but I am a grandma!

And I will update when I know more!

Yesterday a beloved neighbor slipped away.  She had been my neighbor for almost 20 years. 

If only we could get people to seek The Healer of Broken Lives with the same confidence that they go to the healers of broken bodies.