Delaware Grammy

My Sweet Mama came out today and drove me to my first outpatient physical therapy appointment.  I’ve been trying to be brave, and doing therapy at home and telling myself that maybe it won’t be too bad —  And then crying sometimes at night when the pain is bad and I’m discouraged and visions of MEAN people forcing my leg into positions unthought of by me for many a year –.

And I sat on my chair this morning, feeling like I was getting ready for the guillotine, listening to Christmas music, and weeping.

“Mary, did you know that your baby boy, will one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you delivered, will soon deliver you.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod
When you kiss you little baby, then you’ve kissed the face of God.

The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the Lamb.

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is Heaven’s perfect lamb?
This child that you are holding, is the Great I AM!
~Mark Lowry, Buddy Greene

I thought about the promises in that baby — that He would save our sons and daughters, that he is Lord of all Creation, and then those powerful things that I want so much, “the lame will LEAP, (that’s me!) the dumb will speak (that’s my Cecilia) the dead will live again (that’s my precious daddy) and that business of giving sight to a blind and calming a storm with his hand — how many times have I needed sight for this soul which is often so blinded?  And the storms of this rebel heart have been often calmed by the touch of the Man who had once been Mary’s Baby Boy.

And then, to remember that this baby became the Savior of the world and will one day rule the nations — especially in these days of such unrest and uncertainty.  Where there is war and starvation and deprivation and depravity and so much to decry in the world at large — and I have trouble with the world that is my heart.  How can I expect the rulers of our land and the leaders in the world today to manage their countries in a right way when I can’t manage the patch of ground that is my heart? 

And then I went off to therapy.  I was feeling so teary that I asked my friend, Emma, to please pray that I wouldn’t cry.  She comforted me by saying that physical therapists were trained to work people harder when they cry.  Whoops!  Okay, she really needed to pray that I wouldn’t cry.

Maybe physical therapy has changed, maybe not.  In any case, all the prayers worked.  I had a tough time at physical therapy physically, but I had a grand old time emotionally and even spiritually.  It was work, but I can see how the work I’ve already done has paid off, and I am so excited about the progress I am making.  There’s a long way to go, and I’ve been comforted so greatly about how to manage my time up and my time down.  And I am reminded that, just as in this life, there is no way to get through it except to GO THROUGH IT, so I have to do this now, and even when it makes the tears stand in my eyes, and even when I think I just can’t, when I think of the joy set before me — and think of how God is building His Image through this, it gives me courage to hang on just a little longer.

And when I remember that last desperate week before surgery, when I could scarcely walk, and I dreaded going up and down the steps and I wondered if it would ever be better, then I am really grateful, because I am already walking way better than I did then, and the steps hurt less now than they did then, and there are so many things that are already improved.

“For the Joy set before Him, He endured the cross, despising the shame, and is sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. . . “

 “Lord Jesus, this is so small in comparison.  Let me be faithful  in small things.”

For a wonderful close up view of Daniel’s village go here:

www.xanga.com/cerwindoris

She found details I’ve missed, and it was so much fun to look at it through the lens of her wonderful camera.

And we had a wonderful time together on Sunday.  She documented that, too, in a post that is dated Sunday night.

I’ve been blessed again with so many happy moments.  What a joyful season this is!

NYAH-NEE, NYAH-NEE,  BOO-BOO! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

I’M GETTING COMPANY! ! !

If you aren’t jealous, you ought to be!!!  Or, well, let’s just say, I would be “jealous” if someone else was getting this company! 

Cerwin and Doris High (www.xanga.com/cerwindoris) plan to drive down after church tomorrow to visit, see the village and even take some pictures!  I am so excited I can hardly stand it!!!  Tickled pink!  

It is such a blessing to have friends, and you have all been so terrific during this “out of commission time”. Each has added dimension and flavor and fellowship and faith to my life.  I’d be so miserable without my friends. 

If any of you get a hankering to see Cerwin and Doris  and would like to come by tomorrow afternoon, you are welcome to call us and drop in while they are here.  Just remember the “call” part, please — (or message me here.  That will work, too.)

The Village is UP!!! 
And I am so proud of Certain Man, Middle Daughter, Friend Gary,
 and all the people who have lent a helping hand!

The final thing is to set the sign.
Here it is, smack in the middle of everything.

Because he has more room, the downtown district is not quite so crowded.

He was able to run his train on a different route, and even bought a few more lengths of track to be able to make the corners properly.

Here is the corner, in the new sun room, towards the chicken house lane and the road.
  The village takes up the two eastern walls.
  Come and see us!
We would love to have visitors!
I got my stitches out today, and even though they say I am doing well above average, I am still not cutting any fancy steps. 

Certain Man had a troublesome cyst removed from his back yesterday, so he isn’t exactly up to his usual shenanigans, either.
So we would both welcome visitors.

This is for chambray7

My cheery train is back in its place, and everytime I look at it, I think of you, and remember how God used a random act of kindness to bless me,encourage me and fill my heart with joy.  Thanks!!!

And I decided to put this one on yet —

Our precious grandbaby found out that she like Grammy’s Vanilla Activia Yogurt.
Here we are tonight, sharing a container.  She didn’t want me to take a single bite.
She really did get most of it.  And that’s okay. 
This is the chair where I sit and try to take care of my knee.
Here, I read books to Charis, sing silly songs to her, play with her, tell her stories —
and share yogurt. 
She will sometimes snuggle into my shoulder and go to sleep.
I watch her sleeping face and thank God for all His blessings to me.
 How much better could it get???

Certain Man’s Christmas Village is going up!

The boxes have to come out.  Middle Daughter carried and carried and carried —

. . . as did Certain Man!

He measures and figures and cuts and calculates.  Yesterday I was watching him when he didn’t know I was looking, and I saw him smiling to himself.  After the many burdens of this last year, I am so glad that he has a chance to work at something that he really loves.

The train wouldn’t run right, (***make that “at all”!) so Friend Gary, the faithful train mechanic, came down to check things out, fix the train and stayed to help a while.

The two of them are a team.  I am grateful for the brother that Gary has been to Daniel.

And even though they are not done yet, the village is taking shape.

Me???

I’m doing really, really well.  (But I am sure enough glad that the setting up of the village is Certain Man’s Department.)  I am spending lots of time on my chair, lots of time doing rehab therapy, lots of time just chillin’ and thinkin’ and reading.

Oh, I did go Christmas shopping at Kohl’s yesterday — but it was through the internet, from my chair.  Great buys, great discounts, free shipping.  I was so delighted with being able to do that. 

I am considering calling to see if they will take out my stitches sooner than Friday.  They want to pull out when I bend my knee too far, and it hurts really, really much.   I feel like they are hindering Rehab.  We shall see. 

Maybe my own Poissonal Noisse will help me?
  What do you think, Beebs?

I’m home!!! Did ever home look so good???  Middle Daughter decorated for Christmas while I was gone, so it is full of light and warmth and so homey.

I am so blessed!  Surgery went extremely well.  I am full weight bearing on my operated knee, and though the pain can be (IS!!!) vicious at times, I am not overwhelmed by it. 

Ah, dear friends.  It is over!  Everything went so much better than I anticipated, and the therapists have been effusive in their encouragement and praise.  I am one grateful gal tonight, blessed beyond what I deserve, for sure, but delighted beyond words with my “new” knee.

Thank you for calling, visiting, and encouraging, for holding up my family and lending helping hands.  Thanks to each and every single one of you who breathed a prayer for me and my surgeon and my loved ones over the last few days.  I am convinced that the prayers are what have made all the difference.

I can tell, just from these few short minutes on this computer, that I won’t be spending lots of time here, but I do hope to keep you all updated.

Thanks again, everyone.  Bless HIS HOLY NAME!!!

Hi! This is Pieces of Rainbows (BEG’s daughter) and I’m just posting to let you know that Mom’s surgery went well, and the doctor is pleased with the result. She is in good spirits, but sounds pretty tired right now.

Thanks for all your prayers, and please keep on praying!!!

(picture by Polly Heatwole)

And so, I await the morning . . .

Hundreds of things undone, but time doesn’t hold still for anyone.  And when people ask me if I’m “ready” I have to say that I am just not thinking about it.  Tonight, when it is dark, and Certain Man sleeps beside me, I have a feeling that I will think and think and THINK, and maybe not sleep so well.

I still need to pack, need to do the few little things that I cannot just put off, so that will fill the time.

Nothing to eat or drink after midnight.  No jewelry, blah, blah, blah.  And be there at 10:45AM.  (What???  I can’t come in at 5:00 and get it over with?)

There is this little place somewhere in my stomach that feels as cold as ice.

I will trust and not be afraid. 

Thank you for all the encouragement and support.  Most of all, thank you for the prayers.

I would be so afraid without them. 

Tonight I am so thankful for our Middle Daughter — Deborah — or Beeba — or just plain Beebs.  It’s her birthday today, and she has been helping get ready for the packing of Thanksgiving Boxes at church tonight.  I am sure there are ways that she would have rather spent this evening, but she has been a really good sport.

This is Rachel and Beeba at the Manchester United Game that they attended while on their European trip this summer.

I don’t know what I would do these days without her.  She runs errands for me, keeps me from having to go too many steps, just does things over and over again that I can hardly manage to do any more.  She has so many dreams, so many talents, so many plans — and often I listen to her talk and enjoy so many ideas and experiences vicariously.  She has gone places I will never go.  She has opportunities that are forever out of my sphere.  She has always been far smarter than her mama and daddy, and yet she puts up with us, choosing to live at home when it would be far more interesting somewhere else.

So my Thankful Blog for this day is for Deborah.  I am so very thankful for you, girlie.  I am so glad God sent you to our house!  You’ve been an incredible blessing to our family.  Just so you know– We love you!

Today begins a countdown — of sorts.

Beginning today, there will be no ibuprofen allowed until surgery is over.  800 milligrams 3Xdaily will definitely be missed . . .

But this is the season of Grateful Praise, and I have learned that practicing the development of a thankful spirit is a great antidote against a heavy heart.  Not that there is no place for mourning.  I’ve done my share over the last few weeks after reading the following powerful words in a post from one of my Xanga friends:   

” . . . Then we wrestle with His sovereignty. Knowing that He allowed it.
We wrestle with His providence. Wondering on a good-bad day, but demanding on a bad-bad day; why on earth this was considered wisdom in management, love and care for His children, or provision for the future?!
We wrestle with guilt. Measuring ourselves among ourselves, we come up with some kind of pain-o-meter, feeling bad that we hurt when so and so is…you fill in the blanks.
God does not minimize heartbreak, people do. (Beth Moore)
He is not scared by how big something is, we are.
“Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Not, “blessed are they that cope, by deciding someone else has more pain”.
How can He bind our wounds, if we try to believe that we’re not really that wounded?”

(Thank-you, down_onthefarm  for these words.  I’ve been encouraged because of them!)

And so, I took a day after reading this, and MOURNED.  And there were plenty of things to mourn about.    Some of the choices made within my physical family give me grief, but there are a host of unspoken things, private things and Family of God things that had caused my heart to feel “unwhole”.  I don’t know if my eyes were really dry for an entire day.  My family worried.  But it was cathartic.  And I felt like God was mourning with me.  And I felt comforted.

And then I felt like God was nudging me again to praise Him.  To acknowlege that though I had reasons to mourn, The time for thanksgiving was now at hand, and I needed to not “get stuck” in the mourning.

I may not always make this, but I am hoping to blog a thankful blog at the end of each day this week.  Specific things for specific days.  I have a challenging week ahead of me.  Pray that God would give me eyes of Grateful Praise, and that I would be faithful to his call.